I stumbled onto a site that is about babies. The site in called IntoBaby.com. There were a number of recommendations for toys that they thought worked well for babies.  Even some recommendations for “high maintenance” As this site call them.

I read this post: Tips for a High-Maintenance Baby

Some babies seem born content and the able to entertain themselves.  Others seem they constantly need to be held, walked, played with, and entertained every moment of the day or else they put up a fuss.  Does your baby sound like the latter of the two?  You just may have a high-maintenance baby.

I read the first paragraph and though she had my son. I even contacted the site owner to see if they stole my baby of had a twin.  Anyways, the sugestion about the moby wrap was awesome! I had never heard of such a versatile baby accessory. I have seen the ones that only cradle the baby next to you but it sounds like the moby wrap is pretty configurable and versitile. I may need to pick one up for my wife(oh, and me as long as I have the blinds shut).

I suggest you check the site out if you need ideas. There are some really good product reviews as well. I sure am into my baby so the title of the site is fitting.

His life could be on the verge of being decimated. His golf career hangs in the limbs as does his sponsorships…etc.  He made the news and that is all every one talks about.

Lets talk about a normal guy. Gets bored with his wife or gets temped at work with a pretty coworker who is single.  He may have drifted away from his family as he worked long hours or traveled a lot for work. He has a moral failure and cheats on his wife with another woman. I can’t imagine how his wife and kids would feel when they found out.

Men need to be true to their wives and familes.  Stay true and solid in your relationship with your wife. don’t let work get between your family and you. Take time off to enjoy your family and kids.  Leave the baggage of work out in the tree in the front yard. Find another man to talk things through. Someone who can hold you accountable.

Don’t have your own Tiger woods Dilemma.

1. Have multiple computers in the house.  It is so much easier for when you both need to work on school stuff or keep with the latest new story or blog post.  Set aside some time for computer related activities each night or on some sort of schedule.  My wife uses our laptop and I use my desktop downstairs.  It works out great.  We seem happier than if we are each nagging on each other for the computer.
2. Take pictures of memorable events with a digital camera. I posted earlier about taking cool, untraditional wedding pictures.  These tips can be applied to your everyday life as well.  Take pictures of fun events or funny events.  Photos last a long time in their digital form.  Make sure you back them up because it can be devastating if you have a hard drive fail on your computer.
3. The electric crock pot. Seriously, this thing rocks in our house.  Throw some meat in it with some potatoes and carrots and you will have a meal with little to no work.  Stress free cooking for the both of us.  Plus your house can smell great if you let it slow cook over night.
4. New dishwashers rock.  We still have the first one we ever bought but it still is sweet.  We will be buying another one someday.  This takes away the stress of doing the dishes by hand.  I do not think I could ever go with out one again.

There are plenty more ideas for how technology makes the world and marriages go around.  I am sure I will follow up with other posts on the subject.  Feel free to leave comments on how you see technology applying to marriage.

Here are a few ideas:

• Take the wedding party to a playground and climb all over the jungle gym.
• Have everybody jump on the count of three and have the picture snapped while everyone is either in the air or making funny faces.
• Have candid photos taken while your wedding party is just hanging out or walking around.
• Keep an eye on the flower girl and ring bearer for quote pictures.
• Have the bride “dip” the husband.
• Drive around a town and look for cool photo opts like old buildings, police station, or parks.
• Pictures by the water are great as well. standing on the dock looking to the water.

These are just a few ideas to get your creative juices flowing. Remember to have fun.  Please feel free to add more tips in the comments.  We are already married but we sure love to take fun pictures.

Guys need to spend time with other guys. It opens up our hard, shielded souls to talk about manly issues.  We need to hear how other guys struggle with the same things.  We need to get advice about how to handle an issue at home with the wife or kids.

Have a bible study out in the woods where it is peaceful.  Get out of the house and get away from the bustle of life to talk about manly things.  I love hanging out with my friends.  A cup of coffee to discuss issues fits me just right.

Ask the guys in your group to give you some good suggestions for events to do. this will go along ways to developing a manly fellowship time.  Men need to talk and we tend to keep it all inside.  Hanging out with each other will help kinder this spirit of openness and allow us to talk about things that seem weak for men.

go ahead and try some of these tips and ideas.  I realize that there is no rhyme or reason to this post.  It is something that has been on my mind for quite sometime and I just let it flow.

Please leave some comments on what you think or what you do for Manly Ministry events.

I have held a secret from my early childhood for my whole life, until 2 nights ago. My pastor had started a new marriage class on Wednesday nights on the book “What Husbands and Wives Aren’t Telling Each Other.” We were assigned to read the first chapter in the book as “homework” before the first class. We read the chapter together, out loud. It focused on how every person coming into a marriage has some type of baggage they bring with them, possibly caused by some kind of family dysfunction or traumatic experience as a child. The book listed several different scenarios that may cause future marital issues, such as being raped to feeling you couldn’t do anything right for your parents. The book continued to talk about how identifying these situations from your past and talking with your spouse about them will help the mending process, as well as giving your spouse a better understanding of you. Needless to say, while M read the book to me, memories from a hurtful past kept running through my head, and I tried to hide my tears. I didn’t want M to know what I’d been through.

At the end of the chapter were a series of discussion questions, in which we had to identify the emotion we struggle with the most in our marriage and where we thought it rooted from. After sharing with each other, I became very outwardly emotionally distressed, and M could tell something was really bothering me. I knew I needed to tell him what happened to me, but I was scared and felt ashamed. Somehow I managed to muster out, “I was messed with.” And then the real crying started. I had just told the person I love the most on this earth what I had never told anyone, and I was so afraid of his reaction. Would he be angry I didn’t share this painful part of my life with him before we got married? Would he feel like I’ve lied to him this whole time? Would he be disgusted with me and put blame on me? Sharing this secret with him was the hardest thing I have ever had to tell anyone.

So how did he react? I was amazed! He wasn’t angry one bit, but open and understanding. He held me and wiped my tears, and told me not to cover my face in shame. And most of all, he was patient. We stayed up until early in the morning until I was able to tell him exactly what happened to me. It took a very long time for me to tell him everything, from when, to where, to how, and the hardest…the who. But he waited patiently beside me the whole time, telling me it was okay, and waiting for me as I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

Yes, I was exposed to sexual experiences at a young age. M now knew that. After patiently waiting and listening, he found out a family member was the cause, which was the hardest thing for me to tell him of all. All this time we had been together, almost 7 years since we started dating, I was afraid to tell him thinking he’d reject me and blame me for what had happened. But do you know what he said? “It doesn’t change a thing with us.” That’s exactly what I needed to hear: total reassurance of his love for me. Through the whole process, he kept telling me how much he wanted to be able to help me with whatever has been bothering me all these years. And now that he knows my deepest, darkest secret, it is almost as if a weight has been lifted off my chest. Even thinking back to my experiences doesn’t hurt as bad. My husband knows all about it, and he still loves me and accepts me, and is there to help me through rough times whenever they pop into my head again.

If you are struggling with an issue from the past and you know you have a strong, loving relationship with your spouse, don’t be afraid to tell them! Yes, it will be very hard to bring up those past hurts and feelings, but the reward at the end is so great! I feel so much closer to M. He can now pray for healing in that specific area in my life and help me through it. If you can’t trust your spouse, the one you have vowed your entire life to, who can you trust?

Avoidant Daters

Avoidant daters are singles who don’t date at all, even if the opportunity comes along. One reason a man or woman chooses not to date is time. For example, some people feel that between work, school, family, church, and friends, they just don’t have any time for the dating game. Another reason one might date is because it isn’t appealing to them. Some people just flat out aren’t interested in dating at the certain points in their lives. There are also those who aren’t allowed to date. Some parents have ruled that their children can’t date until they reach a certain age. Besides all of these reasons one might not date, there is always the fact that some people simply don’t get the opportunity, even if they are interested. Dating takes two individuals, and for some, the other half just hasn’t come into the picture quite yet.

Intermittent Daters

Intermittent daters are men and women who don’t purposefully seek relationships, but if the opportunity comes they will take it. Such daters have other priorities in their life that they don’t mind keeping first over dating relationships. I saw a woman whose story was on the news recently about this very thing. She was a confident individual who felt she can live her life with or without a partner and be happy with herself, however never denying the fact that she would like a partner. Intermittent daters believe that in the right timing, fate will take its, so there is no need in vigorously seeking relationships.

Casual Daters

Casual daters are individuals who find dating as something fun to do, some even look at it as being a hobby. For example, some men and women date many different people, and do so often. These type aren’t necessarily looking for a serious relationship with anyone at this point; but just want to experience the fun and excitement comes with the dating process. Long term commitment is never on the casual daters mind.

Serious Daters

Serious daters are those who are dating with one soul purpose; to find their life partner. These daters have come to the point in their life where they are done fooling around being avoidant, intermittent, and casual daters, and they are prepared for the next big step in life. When I entered my relationship with M, I knew I was entering a serious relationship. I believe that M had the same intentions as well. And dating seriously doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t fun. As the relationship grows longer and deeper, marriage is often brought up in the conversations. Such a partnership has the potential of marriage, and that is exactly what the serious dater is looking for. I am happy to find it worked for M and I!

Dating Addicts

Besides these positive methods of dating, there is one form that can be very harmful to a dater. Dating addicts are those who have become so dependent on having another person in their life that they must constantly be in a relationship to feel like a whole person. These daters often have low self-esteem and try to fill that void by sharing a bond with someone else. I have known a girl for several years who this describes perfectly. Having started dating at a young age, she doesn’t know how to function as an self-confident individual. Moving quickly and painfully from one hurtful relationship to the next has become the common trend in her dating experience, as with most dating addicts. Dating addicts often get caught in this vicious cycle that leaves no heart unharmed.

Avoidant, intermittent, casual, and serious dating are for different individuals at different stages of life which can be considered, for the most part, healthy ways of approaching dating. Dating addiction, on the other hand, can be harmful if not recognized and measures are taken to break the pattern. Dating will likely continue being a prominent way of mate selection for most singles. Some helpful advice; choose wisely, and know your purpose in dating. Try to remove yourself from your current situation and see it from someone else’s eyes. You may find that your current relationship, or lack of, is a positive or negative thing. And just remember to do what is right for you.

Please post a comment and tell us the technique you currently are using or what you have used in the past.

This is really the first time in my life I have experienced a huge emotional meltdown when I stepped on the scale. I felt angry at myself for not being more careful. But with M’s help, I am turning that anger into motivation to lose the weight and get myself back to where I was, or maybe even better than what I was. So how am I going to do it? By sitting down right now and making my game plan! Here it is:

First of all, I’m definitely not doing this alone. M will not only be cheering me on, but he’ll be going through this as well. He lost quite a bit of weight last year, and wants to continue to do so, which will be a huge motivator for me! Having both partners decide to change their lifestyles is essential for success in this case. My sister-in-law, Sarah, has also decided to be a part of our quest to shed some extra pounds. This is exciting because the more people involved in our weight loss pool, the more competitive and motivated I get, as well as being accountable to more than one person. So if you want to get in shape, drag your significant other into it as well, or a best friend. It will increase your probability of success.

I would have a hard time eating healthy if M sat across from me every night eating a pizza while I had yogurt. Yet another reason why I am glad we are in this together! Now our whole fridge is stocked with healthy food for both of us. There are no temptations when you eliminate them completely, and this is what we have done. We are eating much lighter meals, mostly sandwiches and salad, and bringing healthy snacks with us to work. We have completely eliminated soda, and are drinking mostly water. We have also started drinking hot green tea during or after our meals. I was reading in my Women’s Health magazine that drinking green tea after meals will cut the amount of calories from carbohydrates your body digests by 25%! So now we are religious tea drinkers. Drink your tea!

The part I am probably the most excited about is hitting the gym. A new 24/7/365 fitness center is opening in our hometown in a few days, and M, Sarah and I are just about busting the doors down with excitement. I have gone to the gym with M in the past, but I always felt awkward because I was one of the only girls in there. But now that Sarah will be joining us, I will feel much more comfortable just to have a friend along who is of the same sex.

I know that by surrounding myself by people who have a common goal, I’m going to get exactly where I want to be, which is 125 pounds. If I lose more than that, even better! But I know at least I won’t have to squeeze into my jeans anymore if I’m back where I’m supposed to be! And what’s my other motivation? Hawaii 2008! We’re going as a family, and I want to look awesome in my bikini!

If you want to lose weight with us, leave a message and let us know what your plan is, or if you have any tips. And keep watching for my progress as well! I think having to post it for the world to see will motivate me even more. Wish me luck!

B keeps me sane and on track. I really couldn’t make it through life without her and I love that fact. Marriage is when two individuals become one. Marriage is the best because I get to live with my best friend, do fun stuff with my best friend, and live life everyday with my best friend. I can talk to B about anything I want to and I know that she is listening and evaluating everything I say. These verbal and nonverbal actions speak volumes to me.

Decision making in our relationship is sometimes hard. I want to do stuff that B wants to do and she wants to do stuff that I want to do. Here is a typical exchange we might have while deciding on a place to eat.

Me: Where do you want to eat at babe?
B: It doesn’t matter to me; I want to eat where you want to eat.
Me: No, you pick; I want to eat where you want to eat.
B: I don’t care; you pick a place.
Me: I don’t care either.
B: Just pick something.
Me: I can’t think of anything. Give me the three places you want to eat at.
B: Taco Bell, Chipotle, or that good Mexican place.
Me: I knew you would pick those. Which one do you want?
B: I don’t care! You told me to pick three places! Now you pick one of the three.
Me: [this is me acting like I am thinking and driving to Taco Bell] Let me think.[Arrival at Taco Bell]
B: Yesssss! Taco Bell!

One thing I have learned while dealing with decision making is that I always wanted B to make the decision. What I didn’t realize is that deep down inside, B wants me to make the decision and she will like my decision regardless. She just wants me to make a decision. I have struggled with this because I have always wanted B to have or get everything she has ever wanted and I want nothing less than that. I want to bless her over and over again. I would rather do something she wants to do and not enjoy it as much as I would have enjoyed doing something I truly wanted to do. That may sound weird to some of you guys and gals reading this but it is true.

I recall from a past conversation that we have had that she really wants me to be the decision maker of the household. I agree with that to some extent, but I truly want to bless B every chance I can. B feels blessed when I make a decision. I know she is blessed by other things, but I am trying to stick with this idea of a supporting woman in the lives of men.

Wives need to encourage their husbands during the happy and sad times. I love it when B pushes me to work harder when I am down and out about a paper that is due for my Masters program. Her encouragement fires me up and renews my desire to do the best job I can and do it for B and us. B’s support means the world to me. Some women reading this are saying “I am not going to support my husband on issue X because it is a bonehead idea and it won’t work.” I am not saying that you have to be a push over and do whatever your husband says. You need to let your husband fall flat on his face a few times and get back up. That builds character, wisdom, and integrity.

I think Einstein said it best when he said “The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting different results.” You may have to smack him upside the head when he is doing something over and over again, but be supportive about it. Don’t say “I told you it wouldn’t work! Why didn’t you listen to me?” Just love him and help him bandage the wounds. Don’t tear them and make them worse with belittlement. Be supportive of your husband and it will speak volumes to him in the long run and his love for you will grow deeper and stronger.

There is a saying that my Pastor says often and that is “Behind every good man is a better woman.” I know that is true for a fact and I would venture to say that it is true in most marriages. I know B would say that I make her a better person and I say that she makes me a better person. That is one decision that I am happy that I don’t have to make! Have a blessed day and go support your mate!

Let’s face it, women are wired completely different than men! Our brains work differently. We think and do things differently. Our physical make up is different. But these are all good things! We were made to be compliments to one another. Generally speaking, women tend to be more emotional than men. This is nothing new to us. However, when a woman starts getting “moody,” they easily get labeled a five-letter word and men give it no further thought.

This is not a men-bashing article. If anything, I want to help men and women better understand their wife’s (or own) emotions. I want to use some personal experience from M and I’s relationship. First of all, M and I rarely fight. But when we do, it seems that I am almost always the cause of it. M would never accuse me of this, but I know it’s true. How? Because every time we fight, its because I am an emotional wreck.

For example, this weekend I got home from school, M got home from work, and we were fixing supper together. Sounds fun, right? It was, until we started sarcastically teasing each other, which we do often and usually it doesn’t bother me. It was all out of fun. But for some reason, words that were exchanged suddenly struck a nerve with me, and I instantly started boiling inside. It only progressed from there. M thought we were still joking around, and each thing he did hurt me even more. The ultimate offense was when he gave our dog something to play with that I had thrown away. When I found it on the floor, I picked it up, apparently yelled “you stupid idiot” (we don’t swear) while throwing the object at him and ran out into the garage, crying.

So what was I feeling at this point? First of all, I was cold. Our garage isn’t heated. Second, I couldn’t understand why on earth I went from having fun to instantly freaking out. I sat in the garage a long time, not to punish M and wonder when he’d come get me, but to punish myself. I felt so stupid. I had never gotten that crazy on M before. And what was even more bothersome was that there was no reason for it. To this day, I still can’t understand what happened to make me so upset. So finally after “calming” down, I swallowed my pride and went back into the house.

M was probably feeling pretty lost at this point. But to be honest, so was I. Was it a combination of stress, hormones, and built up emotion that caused the explosion? I really don’t know. And the sad thing was, my emotional state lasted all weekend. Friday was the explosion, Saturday I was weepy and doubting M wanting to be with me, and Sunday I was down and slept nearly half the day. There was no reason for me to doubt M’s love for me, or to be depressed. But I was.

I definitely don’t mean this to be depressing. I just want to tell men that it really is true; understanding a woman’s emotions is nearly impossible, even for women! I can’t even understand it myself. When M asked me what was wrong, I seriously couldn’t give him a reason. But as with everything else, it will pass. So just stick it out and remember that the woman you married is still under those death-stare or tear-filled eyes. And lots of hugs and reassurance that you still love us helps too.