The great oak tree was once a nut that stood its ground.

It’s amazing to me how God puts little things in your life to let you know He’s with you. A couple days ago in my Immunology class, we had a debate about embryonic stem cell research. I was the only person in my class who was against using human embryos for research. Instead of being nervous, I took it as a great opportunity to share my beliefs with the rest of the class.

Being that I was the only person in the class against it, my professor asked me to start the discussion by sharing my beliefs. I was allowed to talk freely for probably 10 minutes on why I thought it wasn’t a good idea to do tests on embryos. On top of that, people were interested and asking me questions about my views. I really felt like it was a great opportunity to take a stand for something, even when I was greatly outnumbered.

The purpose of this post is not to give my reasons for why I don’t agree with embryonic stem cell research. Instead, I want it to help people to speak up for what they believe in, despite how outnumbered they may be or nervous they may feel. I knew that in singling myself out like I did made me an open target to any opposition. I knew that there would be those that thought I was crazy, or stifling a good thing that science could do. I didn’t let that stop me, and I’m so glad. Not only did people get to hear my side of it, but the two people on my lab bench actually decided after the debate that they agreed with my standing, and not the majority. It felt really rewarding to hear that.

The truth is, even if no one agreed with me at the end of the debate, I knew I had done the right thing for sticking up for what I believe in. There is a satisfaction that comes when you are faced with a conflict and you hold true to your values and Godly principles no matter what the rest of the world thinks. And the more you practice standing up for what you believe in, the easier it becomes.

I felt really good after the debate. I only hope that God was pleased with me for standing up for what I think He wants. On my drive home from school, I came across the quote at the top of this post, which was located on a billboard at a gas station. I had to laugh to myself because it was totally perfect as to what I had experienced that day in lab. And I believe that was God telling me “well done”.

Don’t be afraid to live out your convictions. Don’t waver just because you’re going against the flow. You just may find out that there are people out there needing a “nut” like you to show them the right path.

I had my own share of people giving me opinions during the three years while M and I were dating. My mother was one of them. Although she didn’t have any problems personally with M, she wanted me to date a lot of different people and get a feel for what was out there since that is what she did before she married my dad. I, however, thought much differently. Although M was the first person I had seriously dated, I had no desire whatsoever to scope out who else was out there.

I remember making a list in Sunday School when I was probably 12 years old. We listed the things we wanted in a spouse someday. I can still remember the top three on my list: a Christian, funny, and cute. My standards were set at a young age and I didn’t pointlessly date someone just for something to do. If my criteria wasn’t met, I knew it wasn’t worth my time.

And this is where M comes in. I knew him, though not in depth, for a few years before we even started dating. I knew he met my top three. And when we started dating, I knew he was exactly what I wanted for my life’s partner. I didn’t have to date twenty different guys to figure it out either. I’m not saying everyone will find their future mate on their first try. It’s not bad having to date a lot of different people. Just make sure you check your motive. Are you carrying out a long relationship just for something to do, or are they spouse material?

So when are you wasting your time dating someone? My brother has been dating a girl for almost a year now, and to be honest, she is not well received by our family. It’s one thing when maybe one or two members of the family can see a possible issue with a relationship, but when you come from a family of ten and everyone can identify it as a destructive relationship, you can only hope it doesn’t end in marriage. I realize I am going out on a limb saying this about my brother’s relationship. Go ahead and give me the comments like “mind your own business” and “he’s old enough to make his own decisions”. I’m going to speak my peace anyways. They most definitely have a destructive relationship, and I say that with no reserves.

With that said, here are some examples of what causes a relationship to head for failure, unless God gets a hold of it:

Control is a major issue. If one partner always in control of the other, it is definitely unhealthy. I realize some people are “strong-willed” by nature, and some are more laid back. But when it gets to the point that one is stalking the other and constantly needing to be with or know where their partner is, take it as a warning. Everyone needs time to themselves, even when you are in a serious relationship.

Another problem is insecurity. If you are not secure in who you are, know ahead of time that the person you are dating is not going to fill the void in your life. Entering into a relationship will not solve the problem, and in a lot of cases will only make it worse. Insecurity and control may even go hand-in-hand. A person who is insecure may become easily jealous and feel like they have to control their partner or else they will lose them.

These are both red flags my family can see in my brother’s relationship. These issues cause them to be fighting all the time. When I look back to M and I’s first year of dating, we never had one fight. The first year should be the easiest and the most fun. You are just getting to know the person and maybe falling quickly in love with them. Fighting shouldn’t even be on the radar. If you find yourself already fighting even though you are in a new relationship, I would tell you to get out of it fast. It won’t get any better.

One thing I find funny is that many people see marriage as being a quick fix for their troubled relationship. I must go back to my brother’s relationship again. His girlfriend keeps telling him that when they get married things will be better. I don’t know where she came up with that idea, but it’s certainly not the truth. And I’m sure anyone who is married can attest to that. Marriage is not a horrible thing, but if you already can’t stand each other while you’re dating, marriage is not the answer to mend the relationship. Don’t believe the lie that marriage makes things better.

My suggestion to anyone in the dating scene is to make a list of things you definitely want in a spouse, and even things you don’t want. Set your standards high so you won’t even consider someone who doesn’t fit your mold. This will save you from getting involved with someone that will only lead to a dead end. You don’t have to date a hundred different people to find The One if you already know exactly what you’re looking for.

Also, use your head, not just your heart. It’s easy when you are in a new relationship to let your emotions carry you away. But remember to be using your head too. Try and be logical about the person you are dating, and be true to yourself about whether they are really marriage material or not. And date only if you are looking for your life partner. What is the point of getting into a long relationship with someone if you’re only going to break it off and end up with broken hearts? Protect yourself.

Finally, try and be sensitive to what people around you are seeing and saying to you. When it comes down to it, it is ultimately your choice on whom you should marry, but if you are hearing from several trusted people that you need to break it off, maybe you should try and see what they are seeing.

Remember that God really has created someone just for you. Play it smart. Pray about it. Don’t jump into anything that doesn’t feel right. You shouldn’t feel like you are compromising when you decide to be with someone. And if you’re like M and I, one day you’ll look back at the road traveled and be pleased with how you grew together as boyfriend and girlfriend into a happy married couple.

It seems like God has put men’s ministry on my heart. I started a “Young Men’s Bible Study” last winter at my house. I tried to keep it focused on leadership at church, our jobs, and at home with our families. I am no pro at leadership at all. We all learned together. Each time we met, something was accomplished that wasn’t even intended for the night’s topic. Some of the men came with issues and went home with an answer or a comfort. It was awesome! We took the summer off due to busy schedules and time conflicts. God has totally been working on my heart and making me long for men’s ministry in the church.

I picked up a book called Why Men Hate Going to Church that I have heard good things about. I guess I am looking for ideas from all the men out there that are reading this blog. Women can have their say as well. B is always trying to help me out with ideas and she listens to me rant about my ideas. You know what they say…”Behind every good man is a better woman.”

What do you all think? What have you done in men’s ministry? What did you like to do/want to do? Feel free to leave a comment on this very subject. I want to make this blog entry a resource for other men who want to start a men’s ministry program at their church. I will joing into the replies. Men that are on fire for God are so important in our churches! It fires up our families and friends and coworkers for God! Let’s light that one match together to start a blaze of men on fire for God!

“Hey B, How are you doing? Are we back to the rotating schedule for CC? I am planning for this week. So are you pregnant?”

I had to read it twice. Why on earth would she ask out from nowhere if I was pregnant? First off, I’m most definitely not pregnant. And second, where did this idea come from that I was? Apparently somehow a rumor has started spreading amongst some of the young women in the church. How it got started, I have no idea. I have never fallen victim to a rumor before, and the thought that it is circling through church ladies that I call friends is a little bit infuriating. But at the same time, I have to laugh about it because it is so absurd.

So what did I do? I emailed her right back and instead of telling her I’m not pregnant, I decided to keep this little rumor-starting group guessing. Whether that was the right thing to do or not, I’m not sure, but if the personal business of my life is that important to them, I’ll let them have it. Some people just don’t have anything better to do.

The thing that bothers me the most about this rumor is that it is from church family. The last thing Christians should be doing is taking part in a gossip chain. There have been several occasions where I have heard rumors about people in the church. Most recently, I heard that a couple in the church were losing their business. The person telling me about it asked me if I knew whether it was true or not. My reply: I won’t believe it until the couple decides to tell me directly. By saying that, the rumor is stopped directly in its tracks. I let the person know that I don’t believe what they are spreading, and that I won’t be apart of spreading it any further.

So I guess in a way my friend did right by confronting me directly about whether I was pregnant or not instead of taking it as truth and spreading it on to the rest. At least that is what I hope is the case. Just be careful what you say and who you say it to, and even more so, what you choose to believe.

And most of all, remember Psalm 34:13.

“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.”

In many ways, M and I took a leap of faith when we purchased our new Pontiac Vibe last week. I still have a year of college left, so I won’t be able to contribute finances like I would with a full-time job. On top of that, the cost of commuting to school and expense of books and tuition, as well as M starting his master’s program will cause a little more stress on the paycheck than usual. We bought the car knowing money will most likely be tight for the next months ahead before I finish school. But as usual, God had a bigger plan to take care of us through this time.

Currently at my church, I am a Children’s Church teacher on a rotating schedule. The other night at church we had a Christian Education meeting to give an update of how our classes are going. I voiced some frustration I had been having with the kids, and how having two different teachers who taught two different ways every other week was not helping the kids find the structure they need.

After the meeting, my Pastor and his wife invited us out with them to discuss ministry in the church. It was at this time that the Pastor made it aware to me that he had been feeling like Children’s Church needed to go a totally different direction, and they were thinking of hiring a part-time children’s pastor. He then told me the person he had in mind for the job was me! I was shocked and excited at the same time. He asked me to think and pray about it and get back to him.

So here I am trying to figure out what to do. I know it will be a big commitment to take on the Children’s Ministry at the church as my own. But at the same time, if it is what God wants, who am I to say no? M and I have been discussing it ever since Pastor asked. I have never felt so excited about being a part of something in the church. We both feel like it is what God wants us to do. On top of that, it was His way of taking care of us financially with the whole car ordeal. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.

I guess what I am asking for is any advice and opinions anyone has out there on starting a children’s ministry. I have a lot of ideas of what I’d like to do, but I’ll take any help I can get. Right now I am envisioning having a room just for Children’s Church and decorating it with a fun theme so kids will have their own space in the church to call their own. I also like the thought of having puppets to help with kids’ worship and lessons. Any suggestions?

I really feel like God is orchestrating this whole thing, not only to help us out financially, but because for some reason he has chosen me to be the Children’s Ministry leadership at this time. Thanks for any input. It will be much appreciated.

A few months ago, M sold his Grand Am in order to get rid of a car payment. My Buick had been paid off since the day I got it, and M’s parents let us use their little Festiva as a run-around car. So for a few months, we were living in bliss with no car payment. As we know, that quickly changed when my car broke down and left us stranded in the humid heat of Iowa for 6 hours as we waited for M’s dad to come rescue us. The engine was shot. We both decided we were done with my Buick. It wasn’t worth fixing. So that only means one thing: we had to get a different car.

We spent all day the next day after getting home shopping for cars in a larger city, about thirty miles from our home. We knew we liked Pontiac Vibes for their versatility and gas mileage, but they were hard to come by. We got sidetracked and looked at some other cars, but nothing really caught out attention like a Vibe. After hours of looking, my excitement started turning into discouragement. I never realized car shopping could be so frustrating!

We returned back home with our tails between our legs, until we went to a car dealership in our hometown. They had the largest selection of Vibes we had seen anywhere. Buying new was out of the question, but there were two cars they had closer to our price range. One thing we soon discovered about the Vibes was that they hold their value more than most other cars. For a three year old car with 50,000 miles, they were asking only a few thousand dollars less than what was paid for a new car at that time. On top of that, the interior was not as pristine as what we would like, and the car didn’t even have ABS. But being that we knew we can’t afford a new car, it was really our only option at the time.

Each evening for the next few days, M and I took several trips to the surrounding towns, only to find a very poor selection of Vibes, if any. Supposedly they are a hot item right now, and they are quick sellers, so few dealerships have them. We kept talking with our salesman in town and had him give us a print out of what our payments would be on the used vehicle. Just for fun, we had him give us a print out of a new Vibe as well. We were shocked! Because a new car has a much lower interest rate than buying used, the monthly payments were very comparable. Because of this, M started talking as if a new car was actually a possibility.

Let me give you a little background about our families. I came from a family of eight children. Buying a new car was never even an option for us. And to this day, my parents think that buying a new car is a waste of money, since it depreciates so much as soon as you drive it off the lot. M, however, just has one other sibling. His parents believe in buying new because its the only way you know for sure that you are getting a decent car, as well as a warranty to back it up. I don’t believe either of our parents is wrong in their thinking, but it kind of caused some conflict between M and I. I like the idea of getting a new car, but I kept asking, “Do we really need a new car?” I could tell M was sold on getting a new one, and when he showed me the numbers of our payments and total interest paid, I was convinced. New was the way to go.

So now, a week and a half after my old car died, we have a brand new Pontiac Vibe sitting in our garage. The story I’ve told you is definitely the shortened version. There was a lot of headache involved in making a decision. There were countless times where I felt so unsure about which decision was the right one. There were times when I had a bad attitude because of it. This was the first time in my life that I’ve ever had to go through having to buy a car, and I learned a lot.

If you are in the process of looking for a new car, and like me have never been through it before, here is some advice that will hopefully help you before you start. If someone had told me this before we started shopping, things probably would have gone much smoother.

1. Before even beginning to go car shopping, figure out how much you can afford. M and I had an idea of what we wanted to spend, but until you actually sit down and crunch the numbers, you are just guessing. Write a list of all of your expenses and add them up. Do the same with your income. Doing this will let you know how much extra money you have to work with each month for a car payment. It’s easy when car shopping to start with a limit and soon find yourself saying “but this one is only $2000 more”. If you start with a definite plan, you are more likely to stick with it.
2. Discuss with your spouse who will be doing most of the dealing, and how it will be done. M and I hit a major road block here. I was expecting M to handle most of the dealing, and I think he expected me to do some as well. There was one time in particular where we were looking at a car we were interested in. I was waiting for M to start talking price, while M was waiting for me to. We ended up leaving without ever discussing it with the salesperson, and the whole way home we were both in bad moods because of it. Tell each other your expectations before you even start, and your dealing will be much more pleasant.
3. Explore all options. When M and I started looking at cars, we thought buying new wasn’t a possibility. But by chance we found that the monthly payments and total interest paid between the new and used were nearly the same. We now have a perfect new car with 14 miles on it instead of a scratched used car with 44,000 miles for a difference of only $20 in monthly payments. Not only explore new versus used, but also kinds of vehicles you thought you might now even like. When the Vibe first came out, I thought they were ugly. M, however, liked them right away. Over time, I started to like them more, especially after seeing all of the possibilities for use. And when we started looking to buy, and actually test drove one, I was completely sold on it. So don’t pass anything by. You’re looking to spend a lot of money, and its a big commitment. Make sure you are going to be happy with your decision.
4. Pray about it. I believe that God wants you to make the right decision, even when it comes to picking out a car. He will direct you while you’re looking. Be listening for that still, small voice. God cares about the small stuff too. M and I prayed every day over our car situation, and I believe it’s because of God that we were able to purchase a new car. So don’t forget to pray!

Hopefully with this advice, your shopping experience will go a little smoother than ours did at first.

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Update: I submitted this to ProBlogger’s: Lists – Group Writing Project. Check it out. I thought B had a great list of car buying tips. -M

When I was finally confident enough in my musical and vocal capabilities, I became the youth worship leader at our church. I was so excited. I couldn’t see anything that I wouldn’t like about it. I soon discovered that there is a lot of behind the scenes work that must be done before even stepping up to the microphone. Picking out music started out to be a blast, until the music selection seemed to get smaller and smaller every week, and it soon seemed like we were repeating songs until they lost all meaning. And choosing songs is a chore. It takes a lot of time to dwell on the direction you think you need to go for the worship service for that day. On top of that, you have to pull the music for yourself and the worship team. Sure, it doesn’t sound difficult, but you’d be surprised how draining it gets having to select and pull music every week.

Another aspect of leading worship I wasn’t expecting was trying to lead the worship team. Like anything else, it seems there is always that one person who tries to make things difficult, and has trouble following your leadership. You have to be a strong enough leader to keep the rest on track with you. A passive person cannot be a worship leader. You have to be assertive and confident, and tell people with respect what they need to be doing to make the best worship experience for the congregation. Practices can seem long and oftentimes disastrous, making you wonder if you’ll even make it through the worship service smoothly. Leading worship is a commitment. You must be completely dedicated to your ministry no matter how bad or good things seem to be going on your team. As worship leader, much responsibility lies on your shoulders.

Many people who would love to lead worship think that leading the service looks very fun and easy. There are a lot of people who enjoy singing, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they should be leading worship. There are three things I believe a worship leader must have to be their best:

1. A worship leader needs to have a confident, strong voice. A leader with a timid voice that trails off would be very hard for the congregation to follow.
2. A worship leader needs to be sensitive to the flow of the service, and to the Holy Spirit. Is the congregation falling asleep, or are they right on the brink of entering the throne room? The difference may be in whether you decide to repeat a song, or maybe let the instruments play while you let the congregation pray and sing on their own to God. Being sensitive may be one of the hardest parts in being a worship leader, especially if nerves get in the way.
3. A worship leader must be humble. You are singing as unto the Lord, not to impress the man or woman in the third row. Worship is not a show. It is not about what fancy thing you can do with your voice or on your instrument. You may be impressing man with your talent, but are you pleasing God with your worship? That should be the greatest desire of any real worshipper.

Worship leading is not for everyone, and for those that God has anointed to lead, it should not be taken lightly. Don’t think that leading worship is the ultimate position in the church, because it’s not. It’s just another part of the body of Christ. One part is not any more important than the other. Pray and seek God for where your place is, whether it be with worship or another area in the church. And don’t buy into the idea that leading worship is only for the super-spiritual, because God gives us all different gifts that are unique, and He will be pleased when you choose to use the gifts He specifically gave you.

Anatomy class was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Not only did I learn the intricate details of how the body works, but also a couple of life lessons that really opened my eyes and changed the way I think. In Part One of “What a Dead Man Taught Me”, I explained the first lesson I learned: how fragile the human body really is. But the next realization I came to in lab one day was one that is enough to infuriate any Christian. I’m here to tell you that the lie of evolution is slowly working its way into the minds of so-called Christians.

I’ll give you a little background before I go into the whole story. At the beginning of the semester, I buddied up with another Biomed major who I’d seen in several of my previous classes. We were chatting one day and getting to know each other. Somehow we got on the topic of church. She asked what church I went to. I told her an A/G church. She labeled herself as a “moderate” Lutheran. I wasn’t really sure what she meant, but by the conversation we had, I felt as if she at least had a good understanding and belief in God, which is a relief to see in the science department. However, the truth about her faith was soon to come out.

In lab one day, we my lab partner and I began studying the skeleton. Out of nowhere, she stated, “It just amazes me what evolution has done.” At first I thought she must be joking, but I soon realized she was as serious as ever. I was beyond shocked! Just a few days earlier, we were talking about the things of God, and now she starts praising evolution.

“I thought you said you were Lutheran,” I said. It was all I could think to say.

“A moderate Lutheran,” she corrected.

I was about ready to be sick. How could anyone who considers themselves to be a Christian also believe in evolution? Sadly, this was not the only occasion I was confronted with such a situation. It happened with another friend of mine later that semester in my Physical Education class. We would walk the track and talk about anything and everything. I always tried to mention God somehow during the course of our walk. She was also a confessed Lutheran although she admitted not having gone to church since she was young. Not assuming anything, I began to talk about evolution to try and see where she stood. It soon surfaced that she also tried to believe in both, just like my anatomy lab partner. I began to see that this was not just something one person was trying to swallow. There are probably many people, not just at my school, but everywhere that try to believe in God and evolution.

It took my a long time to figure out how two things so contradictory to each other can coexist together and be accepted by someone. Before I go on any further, I want to make it clear that in no way am I speaking against Lutherans. It just happens that both girls in my experience were Lutheran. With that said, here is the conclusion I came to. As children, these students were exposed to church in one form or another. Their parents were probably Lutheran, therefore they were automatically born Lutheran. It is more of a religious label to them than their actual faith. I feel it is safe to say that for some reason, their faith in God was never truly grounded. God was not something that they had experienced for themselves.

When a person’s faith is not strong to begin with, it is easy to start accepting lies that the world, and Satan, wants us to believe. The big lie in this case is evolution. My friends had knowledge of God, but not a relationship with Him. There is a huge difference! When my classmates started school, and every single science professor is shoving evolution down their throats, they are not strong enough in their faith to recognize the lies, and they begin to accept it as truth. College biology classes are dangerous grounds for any weak believer, and I can see why. You go to classes everyday and hear highly educated people teach you a subject. You trust that everything they are teaching you is truth. You write notes down in a notebook and take them home to study. The more classes you take, the more you hear about evolution, the more it starts to creep its way in and it becomes more believable. I believe this is what happens to many struggling Christians.

I have many examples of professors promoting evolution in class, but there is one that sticks out in my head the most because of the amount of anger it caused me to feel. As many classes as I’ve taken, I’ve come to expect a teacher to speak of evolution as truth. It’s a given. But never had I heard one actually speak against the belief of God as Creator. That struck a huge nerve with me and I could hardly keep quiet. I was in Anatomy one morning, and the professor was talking about how vision is possible. After explaining the process that takes place, she says to the class, “This is proof against intelligent design. An engineer never would have engineered vision to work this way.” I felt like my head was going to explode. It’s one thing for a professor to teach evolution, but it’s another to actually say there is proof there is no God. These are the kinds of things college students are subjected to, and it’s having terrible consequences to those who don’t have a strong base in the Bible.

Evolution and being a Christian are oil and water: they cannot mix. The Bible says in Genesis that God created the earth, and the finished product was good. It does not say “In the beginning, God created amino acids that somehow became cells, which somehow became organisms, that over millions of year finally became thousands of different species.” What God made, He finished, and it was good. Period.

If you ever come across anyone who is confused and trying to swallow two totally separate beliefs like this, don’t be angry with them. They are just totally lost, and they have bought into another one of Satan’s lies. Share with them about God, remember them in prayer. Even if they don’t seem to change their mind because of you, you will have planted a seed in their lives. Make room for God to work in them through you. That’s all you can do. Getting angry with them or making them feel stupid won’t help anything.

First and foremost, if you are ever put in a situation where you are subjected to something you know that is contradictory to what the Bible teaches, guard yourself. Are you strong enough in your faith to recognize and deflect any arrows that the enemy throws at you? Can you sense when the Holy Spirit is telling you something just doesn’t seem right? Be very careful, because even Christians can be deceived.

Just like a skeleton, our faith is the base that holds us together. Without it, we would fall apart and it becomes easier to be deceived.

Finally, remember Ephesians 6:16:

“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”

As a Christian, I don’t believe in ghosts or in mediums who can communicate with the dead. The Bible actually warns against such people in the book of Leviticus. For those like me who have grown up in the church, we understand that once this earthly body is dead, the soul lives on, whether that be with Jesus Christ in heaven or an eternity in hell. There is no staying behind on earth to console your mourning family members after your passing to assure them you are in a safe place. With that said, I can explain how my encounter with a dead man spoke into my life a new view on life itself, and it has nothing to do with a psychic’s intervention.

This last spring I enrolled in a human anatomy class at college. The instructor let us know from the first day that we would be working with human cadavers, and warned that if someone was uncomfortable with this, they should probably drop the class. Not the best way to start a semester! It’s not that I hadn’t seen a dead person before. I’ve been to few funerals and seen a body at the nursing home I worked at, but my exposure to death was very minimal. In this class, not only would we be in a laboratory with three cadavers twice a week, but we had to study and poke and prod to learn the different parts of the body. Of course I was apprehensive!

A few weeks went by in lab where we studied from models and charts and skeletons. But finally the day came when we walked into class to see two large metal carts pulled out from what looked like a huge filing cabinet, each with a large black bag and its contents lifelessly resting on top. The smell of formaldehyde was overbearing. I instantly felt dirty as soon as I walked into the room. Students all entered the room quietly and took their seats. Everyone, including me, tried putting on a face of total calmness about the situation, but the tension sensed in the room was undeniable. I’m sure everyone was nervous.

To make things worse, my instructor stands up and gives a fifteen minute “introduction” to the cadavers, telling us how to care for them, to respect them, and what to do if we start getting sick or light-headed, noting that it is not uncommon for these things to occur. She ordered us to gather around one of the cadavers as she slowly unzipped the black plastic revealing the body underneath. Before I caught my first glimpse, I leaned myself back on one of the desks. I didn’t want to get caught in a fainting spell. The first thing I saw was his face. I was startled to see that most of the skin had been removed to expose the underlying muscles. The rest of the body was the same way. Each bone, muscle, organ, and vessel was in clear view and just a touch away. It all seemed so unreal. Sure, I have seen a dead body before, but not the underlying parts. I was almost relieved to see the body in this state. It made the body seem almost inhuman, since most of the outside surfaces we see every day had been removed. But that’s still not to say that my mind was anymore at ease.

As my instructor started walking us through the different parts of the cadaver, opening up the chest cavity, pulling on tendons, bending joints, my mind started to race. I have always loved biology. I loved learning how everything works in our bodies so we can do the things we do. But until this moment, it was never truly real to me. We all know that the heart uses veins and arteries to pump blood through our bodies, but its easy to take for granted how amazing it is until you actually see it in its true form.

It was at this point I went from being amazed, to somewhat scared. It was at this point I learned my lesson from this cadaver. For the first time in my life, it really clicked with me how human I really am. As I looked at the body and all of its delicate tissues, I realized that that’s exactly what I was…flesh. Nothing about this body I’m in is eternal, and that thought scared me. It’s easy to think that what we look like on the outside is who we are. It’s easy to think that our bodies are invincible and nothing could go wrong with them. But I had proof lying right in front of my eyes that the body I am occupying at the moment is not forever. It’s not going with me when I die, because it is the physical body that dies, not the actual me. The real me is the soul that resides in a physical form for the time we are given on this earth. My body does not make me who I am, but its my soul, which is eternal. And in seeing how fragile the body really is, and how many different parts could go wrong at any time, I realized for the first time how fast and easily life on this earth can end.

This lesson to me was not all doom and gloom. I think human fragility is something we will all discover at one point in our lifetime in one way or another, whether it be through personal injury or disease, or through the life of someone else. I feel privileged to be exposed to such a great experience at such a young age. I have a different view on life because of it, which many people my age don’t have because they still think they’re invincible. Life on this earth is going to be short, and nothing physical will come with you when you die, including your body. But if you’re heaven-bound anyways, you won’t care if you’re leaving your old body behind. It’ll do no good where you’re going anyways. Not a bad lesson to learn from a dead guy. Check out “What a Dead Man Taught Me – Part Two – Evolution in the Church.”

It has always shocked me how many people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Believe me, I heard it from all sides when M and I were engaged. I was so excited to get married and move in with M, but for some reason people kept trying to drill into my head that I was in for a one-year struggle. I’m happy to say that after being married for one year, I can disprove this myth that the first year of marriage is the worst.

One of the first people who gave me her first year horror story is a friend from church. We had gone out to eat, and me being recently engaged, soon got on the topic of marriage. All I could talk about was the anticipation of finally being married to M, whom I had been dating for over three years at the time, and how great it would be when I didn’t have to leave his house at night anymore, because it would be our house. And the sparkling diamond on my finger kept reminding me it was really happening; we were really getting married. Soon my excitement was met by a dreary warning as my friend began to tell me what life was like after the wedding. Married life for her was full of tears, starting the first night of her honeymoon. She went on telling me how she cried basically everyday for the first year, and not because she was happy. It was as if she had post-partum depression after the wedding. To make things worse, her husband changed jobs several times in just a matter of months, and she had a two hour drive to school everyday. She admitted their lives just weren’t meshing together like they should once being married. So there I am, trying to figure out just how something as exciting as getting married could turn into something so torturous, especially when you’re supposed to be in love.

Another horror story is of an acquaintance of mine, and again, a couple in the church. Their marriage fell flat on its face soon after they were married, and that was no secret. The wife started telling people “If I weren’t a Christian, I’d get a divorce.” What a terrible thing! So what does she try to do to make her marriage better? Have a baby! So now throw a baby into the mix of a couple contemplating the big “D” and picture how it helps the marriage. Of course, it doesn’t.

It really troubled me to think that two Christian people could have such struggles in only their first year of marriage. I mostly thought it would be a problem with people living un-Godly lifestyles. I had this negative message being sent to me from all kinds of people. Just turn on Dr. Phil or Oprah and see how many young married couples on the shows are on the verge of divorce, when just months earlier they couldn’t get enough of each other. The message being sent from everywhere tells you that you go from being best friends to enemies when you take the vow.

Now having gone through a year of marriage, I want to refute the belief that the first year of marriage is going to be the hardest. First, let me make it clear that in no way do I believe that M and I have the perfect marriage, if there even is such a thing. And I am sure we’re not the only couple that experienced a great first year of marriage. I just want to speak against the trash that was talked into my pre-marriage days; that the first year will be a train wreck. It doesn’t have to be that way, and I know this because M’s and mine wasn’t. So if you’re still in the pre-marriage stage, or just beginning to learn what marriage is, listen up!

There is hope! Marriage can be just as fun, and even more fun, than life while you were dating. It’s now official, you and your spouse have made a lifetime commitment to each other, to love and always be there for each other. That’s what you signed up for! So start by enjoying it. A honeymoon is a great kick-off for a great marriage. It’s sets the pace for the first few months of your marriage. So get away! The crying woman in the first story went on a one night honeymoon with her husband to a town fifteen miles from home. That is no a great start. Go somewhere that you don’t have a chance bumping into someone you know. Go somewhere neither of you have ever been. It will now only give you the feeling of true freedom while being with each other, but it will cause you to rely on each other as you start your adventure. Don’t let anyone tell you a significant honeymoon is not important. It is crucial!

And when you get home, find fun things to do together. Go for bike rides, play games, have a sense of humor, cook together, clean together, make shadow puppets, sing stupid songs, surprise each other, go on dates, go camping, hold hands. It may sound cheesy, but it definitely worked for us. Most importantly, keep God the center of your relationship. If you’re living a life pleasing to God, you should automatically be pleasing your spouse. Disagreements and misunderstandings will happen, but have a forgiving and understanding attitude. It will pass, and pick things up right where you left off. You chose to get married, and you chose whom to marry, so now choose to be happy!

To me, the myth has been busted. With the great start our marriage has had, I cannot believe that the first year of marriage is the hardest. But if I’m wrong, if the first year truly is the worst, I can rest assured that I’ve got a lot of incredible years with M ahead of me.