I stumbled onto a site that is about babies. The site in called IntoBaby.com. There were a number of recommendations for toys that they thought worked well for babies.  Even some recommendations for “high maintenance” As this site call them.

I read this post: Tips for a High-Maintenance Baby

Some babies seem born content and the able to entertain themselves.  Others seem they constantly need to be held, walked, played with, and entertained every moment of the day or else they put up a fuss.  Does your baby sound like the latter of the two?  You just may have a high-maintenance baby.

I read the first paragraph and though she had my son. I even contacted the site owner to see if they stole my baby of had a twin.  Anyways, the sugestion about the moby wrap was awesome! I had never heard of such a versatile baby accessory. I have seen the ones that only cradle the baby next to you but it sounds like the moby wrap is pretty configurable and versitile. I may need to pick one up for my wife(oh, and me as long as I have the blinds shut).

I suggest you check the site out if you need ideas. There are some really good product reviews as well. I sure am into my baby so the title of the site is fitting.

Some people don’t know how to swing fluently and they search online for how-to’s that teach them the steps for something. Swinging with your wife can be relaxing and enjoyable if you know how to swing correctly.

It would be ideal if you could find a swing set that has two open swings side-by-side. You can sit right next to your husband or wife and swing. This allows you to look at each other and even hold hands. There is something special about doing things that you once did as a child as an adult. It makes you and your wife feel like a kid again. Swinging can bring on conversations with your wife that will strengthen your marriage and create an even tighter bond between the two of you.

Let’s get into the logistics of swinging correctly with your husband or wife. Find a swing set in a quite park. Make sure there a two swings side-by-side to aid in making conversation easier and allow the holding of hands if desired.

How to swing properly with your wife or husband:

1. Sit in the swing.
2. Walk backwards till you can barely touch the ground.
3. Lift your feet and begin to swing and lean backwards with your legs straight out in front of you.
4. Lean forward and move your legs under and towards you as you swing at the highest point.
5. Hold this position till you are at the highest point in the back swing and then begin to lean back and pump your legs straight out in front of you.
6. Keep repeating this pumping motion as you swing back and forth.

That is how to swing. You and your significant other can now swing side by side. You can swing slow and talk or you can see who can swing the highest. You could also have a jumping contest if you body is able to see who can land farther out from the swing set. This works well if you and your significant other are competitive. Just be careful so you don’t injure yourself.

Swinging on a swing set can be a nice relaxing activity to get you and your wife or husband to get outside and enjoy the weather. Now you know how to swing with your wife. Remember; be safe while you are swinging with your significant other.

This is really the first time in my life I have experienced a huge emotional meltdown when I stepped on the scale. I felt angry at myself for not being more careful. But with M’s help, I am turning that anger into motivation to lose the weight and get myself back to where I was, or maybe even better than what I was. So how am I going to do it? By sitting down right now and making my game plan! Here it is:

First of all, I’m definitely not doing this alone. M will not only be cheering me on, but he’ll be going through this as well. He lost quite a bit of weight last year, and wants to continue to do so, which will be a huge motivator for me! Having both partners decide to change their lifestyles is essential for success in this case. My sister-in-law, Sarah, has also decided to be a part of our quest to shed some extra pounds. This is exciting because the more people involved in our weight loss pool, the more competitive and motivated I get, as well as being accountable to more than one person. So if you want to get in shape, drag your significant other into it as well, or a best friend. It will increase your probability of success.

I would have a hard time eating healthy if M sat across from me every night eating a pizza while I had yogurt. Yet another reason why I am glad we are in this together! Now our whole fridge is stocked with healthy food for both of us. There are no temptations when you eliminate them completely, and this is what we have done. We are eating much lighter meals, mostly sandwiches and salad, and bringing healthy snacks with us to work. We have completely eliminated soda, and are drinking mostly water. We have also started drinking hot green tea during or after our meals. I was reading in my Women’s Health magazine that drinking green tea after meals will cut the amount of calories from carbohydrates your body digests by 25%! So now we are religious tea drinkers. Drink your tea!

The part I am probably the most excited about is hitting the gym. A new 24/7/365 fitness center is opening in our hometown in a few days, and M, Sarah and I are just about busting the doors down with excitement. I have gone to the gym with M in the past, but I always felt awkward because I was one of the only girls in there. But now that Sarah will be joining us, I will feel much more comfortable just to have a friend along who is of the same sex.

I know that by surrounding myself by people who have a common goal, I’m going to get exactly where I want to be, which is 125 pounds. If I lose more than that, even better! But I know at least I won’t have to squeeze into my jeans anymore if I’m back where I’m supposed to be! And what’s my other motivation? Hawaii 2008! We’re going as a family, and I want to look awesome in my bikini!

If you want to lose weight with us, leave a message and let us know what your plan is, or if you have any tips. And keep watching for my progress as well! I think having to post it for the world to see will motivate me even more. Wish me luck!

M and I recently went to a marriage class offered at our church titled “Refreshing Your Marriage by Minding the Little Things.” The speaker emphasized over and over again about how important it is to continue to do the small things in a marriage. He compared the small, positive things in marriage to yeast. A very small amount of yeast added to bread will make it rise a tremendous amount. It is the same in marriage. Doing small things for each other to let the other partner know you love them add up quickly! The positive feeling they get when you do something thoughtful for them will grow into other parts of the marriage, and it will become easier for your partner to return their love to you in the same way.

So what exactly are the little things that are so important in a marriage? It is different for each individual. I will give some examples from M and I’s relationship. M always loves it when I have his shirts ironed for work and he doesn’t have to ask me to do it for him. The things I say to him are also important. He likes it when I ask him how his day was, and when I give him compliments about things he has done. On the other hand, I feel the most connected to M when he cuddles with me, or tells me I’m beautiful. I think we can all agree that these actions I have described are very simple and easy to do, yet they are extremely crucial things to have in a marriage.

The great thing about this is that no matter where you are in your marriage, whether very much in love newlyweds or on the brink of divorce, incorporating these positive actions into your marriage can make drastic changes for the better. The speaker in the video told of countless couples he had met with who confessed to not even liking their partner anymore. They felt that their marriages were at a dead-end. His prescription? Do one small, positive, caring action every day, five days a week, for six weeks. At the end of six weeks, evaluate how your feelings towards your spouse have changed for the better. And amazingly, for the couples who stuck with the program, they felt as if their relationship made a complete “one-eighty.”

In order for this plan to be most effective, you first must know what little things your spouse desires from you the most. Some of you may think you already have a good idea of what your spouse desires from you, but I still suggest you do the following: make a list of ten, small and simple actions that you would like to see from your spouse. You may be surprised some of the suggestions that show up on your partners list! For example, I already knew that M would put “make meals” on his list, but I had no idea that he liked it when I left little notes for him around the house! I learned more about my partner by actually writing out a list and not assuming what he likes. So write out a list of ten actions and exchange them with your partner. Also, it is important when writing your list to not make “Ten Demands” rather than just things you like. Write the list to help your partner, not to put them down. Only then will it be the most effective.

Once you have made the exchange, it time to use what you know. Make it a point to do one thing off your spouse’s list each day for five days out of the week. I don’t think this is a lot to ask! M and I started implementing this into our marriage right away, and I already feel after three days that my attitude is changing towards him. In no way would I have considered our marriage to be struggling, but when we started doing more little things for each other, I could already see improvement. That’s what is so great about marriage, there is always room to grow! I really feel even more satisfied than ever in my marriage. For us, it feels like we are dating. I’m not saying this will be the case for everyone, but it will most definitely improve your marriage in some form.

At the end of our six weeks, I will write another entry evaluating how this worked for us. Give it a try and let us know how it works for you in your relationship! We would love to hear if this is helpful to anybody else. Just take it one day, one simple action at a time and see how your relationship grows together!

Women need to be loved through thick and thin.
Men, love your wife no matter how bad you screw up or your wife screws up. We all make mistakes! That is the way God made us! Love is the cement that holds your relationship together. I have noticed that B really needs to be loved when she is going through tough times. She may have had a bad day at school or work and just needs that big hug with an “I love you” attached. Don’t get mad at your wife when she is all down and out about her day. I used to get upset because her attitude would bring mine down. I have learned that men need to go down to that emotional level with their wives and help bring them back up. Don’t leave your wife in that lonely, cold spot of feeling down and out. It will speak volumes to her when she realizes you care about how she feels and the two of you will grow stronger in each other.

Women need to be surprised and pampered.
Men, nothing says “I love you” like a thoughtful surprise. Find something that she would never expect and do it. Take her on a car ride through some scenic area to see the fall leaves and have a picnic somewhere together. Women don’t always need flowers and a diamond to be surprised. Don’t get me wrong though, women do love diamonds and flowers. I am lucky with B. She would rather go out to eat and have fun then have me spend money on something as temporary as flowers. I know for a fact though that a surprise of flowers for no reason is a good thing also. Catch your wife off guard and do something spontaneous and exciting. Get her a massage somewhere. Stretch your wife’s comfort zone and she will enjoy it. I took B to a weekend of fun for a one-year anniversary. She talked about it here. I picked everything out for the weekend and she knew nothing about it. She knew that we were going away for the weekend and that I had planned everything. I planned a Segway tour and a stay in a really nice hotel. She was really freaked out when we showed up to the Segway tour. She will be the first to admit that it was a great weekend! Surprise your wife! Rub her feet with some cool lotion or draw her a bath after a long day at work. She will love you for it and it will strengthen your relationships with each other.

Your wife needs to feel secure.
Women need to feel secure in their marriage. This ranges from finances, to a roof over her head, to protection, and etc…. Love also creates a secure feeling. I am a bit bigger than the average guy and I am a lot bigger than my wife. She loves the fact that I am a big teddy bear. It comforts her when I give her a big hug. I am not saying that you have to go out and get hugely overweight or workout a ton to get bigger. That is just one way my wife feels secure. Some women like to run the finances and maybe that is a good thing for some men. There are all sorts of ways to make your wife feel secure in your marriage and strengthen your marriage and relationship.

You wife may just want to have fun.
Men, don’t be dull and boring in your relationship. Do fun stuff together that will draw you closer together. I love it when B has fun and laughs. It makes me feel good when we can laugh together and enjoy each others company. I know she enjoys it as well. Having fun in a relationship is key to making it last. Don’t let the “fun well” go dry. It is harder to fill it when it is empty. Continue to fill it at all times and your relationship will always be fun and the fun will never run dry.

Help your wife with the household chores.
This one may hurt, men. Surprise your wife by cleaning the floors while she is away. Clean the bathroom on your own without her asking you. I am of the mindset that men should help with these household chores anyways. I do struggle with it at times though. Doing these things blesses your wife in so many ways. I know I mentioned drawing a bath for your wife before, but draw a bath and then clean the floors or do the dishes or do anything that would bless her and make her feel loved and appreciated. Have her put her feet up and you vacuum or play with the kids (if you have them). There a so many things that you could do for her. Little things go a long way!

I could go on and on about things to do to keep your relationship healthy and on fire for each other. Keep a list of these ideas and try and incorporate them into your home life. You will notice that your wife will want to return the favor sometimes. Bless your wife and she will want to bless you. Healthy marriages are import in today’s world. It is important for your kids and for yourselves. The divorce rate is so high these days. Lets turn that statistic around, men!

Fell free to leave as many comments as you want or send us a message. I want to hear other ideas from other men and women out their. I would like to make this a resource for happy, healthy marriages. A healthy marriage is a life long journey.

I have chosen to participate in ProBlogger’s Group Writing Project again with this post. Swing on by and check it out.

UPDATE: My wife wrote an entry on Five things a Woman Needs to Hear to Fall in Love. It is a good read!

My plan for my relationship: My relationship with M, first and foremost, has to be kept Number One. I never want a piece of homework or a call from work to take priority over him. I’m not saying it’s okay to skip studying for a final just to watch a TV show with him, but time with each other is important to me. And I’m not saying I’m going to the extreme of making a literal schedule in which I have to pencil him in. That’s kind of weird, if you ask me. I just want to be sensitive to the amount of time I am spending with my husband. I don’t want to neglect our relationship. Sure, there are times when things really need to get done, possibly for a deadline, but it’s healthy to step away for a break now and then. And even then if M would need me for something, I wouldn’t hesitate to help him. And now that M is back in school, I see the importance of making time for your spouse even more so. Although I’ve been pretty understanding so far about him needing to do schoolwork, there are still times that I wish he would just step back for a couple minutes and give me some attention. And he has been really good about that too. So no matter what school may bring, I’m not going to forget that I have a spouse that needs my attention as well.

My plan for work: It seems like I’ve got about four different jobs I’m balancing at once. I will be starting part-time as a children’s minister at the church soon, which will require much dedicated time. On top of that, I have a job at an assisted living home and a few hours at another senior housing facility. And in March of this year I started selling jewelry at in-home parties, which business has quadrupled since I started. It’s great to be making money and contributing to paying our expenses. However, being a part of the children’s ministry is going to have to be my priority. I’m going to have to cut way back on the hours I take at the assisted-living facility, and maybe even stop doing jewelry parties, although they pay very well. If I don’t make priorities as to what job is more important, I’m going to run myself in the ground with work. Although there might not be as much income coming in, I have to make time for school as well.

My plan for school: I’m just starting my last year as a Biomedical Science major, and I am already overwhelmed. I’ve got a presentation on Diabetes that is to last two class periods due in two weeks. Biochemistry makes me feel like I can’t breathe. My Immunology teacher has never taught a class before and doesn’t have a clue. And I can’t find the book for my Medical Terminology class! I have a lot of work to do! In order to make this semester as easy as possible, I’m making a clear plan for myself. First, every assignment and test coming up for each class is going to be written in the same planner so I can keep everything straight. Next, instead of crashing on the couch when I get home from school like I’ve done in the past, I’m going to work on any assignments that are due in the near future. My motivation for working on assignments right away takes me back to my first plan–my plan for my relationship. The sooner and quicker I get my assignments done, the more time I will have to spend with my husband when he gets home from work. Another great time for me to work on homework is when M is busy doing his own homework, or if he is out mowing the lawn or doing something I can’t be involved in. For example, M will be gone all weekend at Promise Keepers. I decided before he even left that this will be a study weekend. As of now, I’ve already finished a paper that isn’t due until Wednesday, and I’ve started researching for my upcoming presentation. Tomorrow it’s Biochemistry. School should go better if I stick to my plan.

I’m really excited to see how taking the time to write down what I expect of myself is going to affect the way I manage my time. If it works for me, maybe it can work for you too.

I had my own share of people giving me opinions during the three years while M and I were dating. My mother was one of them. Although she didn’t have any problems personally with M, she wanted me to date a lot of different people and get a feel for what was out there since that is what she did before she married my dad. I, however, thought much differently. Although M was the first person I had seriously dated, I had no desire whatsoever to scope out who else was out there.

I remember making a list in Sunday School when I was probably 12 years old. We listed the things we wanted in a spouse someday. I can still remember the top three on my list: a Christian, funny, and cute. My standards were set at a young age and I didn’t pointlessly date someone just for something to do. If my criteria wasn’t met, I knew it wasn’t worth my time.

And this is where M comes in. I knew him, though not in depth, for a few years before we even started dating. I knew he met my top three. And when we started dating, I knew he was exactly what I wanted for my life’s partner. I didn’t have to date twenty different guys to figure it out either. I’m not saying everyone will find their future mate on their first try. It’s not bad having to date a lot of different people. Just make sure you check your motive. Are you carrying out a long relationship just for something to do, or are they spouse material?

So when are you wasting your time dating someone? My brother has been dating a girl for almost a year now, and to be honest, she is not well received by our family. It’s one thing when maybe one or two members of the family can see a possible issue with a relationship, but when you come from a family of ten and everyone can identify it as a destructive relationship, you can only hope it doesn’t end in marriage. I realize I am going out on a limb saying this about my brother’s relationship. Go ahead and give me the comments like “mind your own business” and “he’s old enough to make his own decisions”. I’m going to speak my peace anyways. They most definitely have a destructive relationship, and I say that with no reserves.

With that said, here are some examples of what causes a relationship to head for failure, unless God gets a hold of it:

Control is a major issue. If one partner always in control of the other, it is definitely unhealthy. I realize some people are “strong-willed” by nature, and some are more laid back. But when it gets to the point that one is stalking the other and constantly needing to be with or know where their partner is, take it as a warning. Everyone needs time to themselves, even when you are in a serious relationship.

Another problem is insecurity. If you are not secure in who you are, know ahead of time that the person you are dating is not going to fill the void in your life. Entering into a relationship will not solve the problem, and in a lot of cases will only make it worse. Insecurity and control may even go hand-in-hand. A person who is insecure may become easily jealous and feel like they have to control their partner or else they will lose them.

These are both red flags my family can see in my brother’s relationship. These issues cause them to be fighting all the time. When I look back to M and I’s first year of dating, we never had one fight. The first year should be the easiest and the most fun. You are just getting to know the person and maybe falling quickly in love with them. Fighting shouldn’t even be on the radar. If you find yourself already fighting even though you are in a new relationship, I would tell you to get out of it fast. It won’t get any better.

One thing I find funny is that many people see marriage as being a quick fix for their troubled relationship. I must go back to my brother’s relationship again. His girlfriend keeps telling him that when they get married things will be better. I don’t know where she came up with that idea, but it’s certainly not the truth. And I’m sure anyone who is married can attest to that. Marriage is not a horrible thing, but if you already can’t stand each other while you’re dating, marriage is not the answer to mend the relationship. Don’t believe the lie that marriage makes things better.

My suggestion to anyone in the dating scene is to make a list of things you definitely want in a spouse, and even things you don’t want. Set your standards high so you won’t even consider someone who doesn’t fit your mold. This will save you from getting involved with someone that will only lead to a dead end. You don’t have to date a hundred different people to find The One if you already know exactly what you’re looking for.

Also, use your head, not just your heart. It’s easy when you are in a new relationship to let your emotions carry you away. But remember to be using your head too. Try and be logical about the person you are dating, and be true to yourself about whether they are really marriage material or not. And date only if you are looking for your life partner. What is the point of getting into a long relationship with someone if you’re only going to break it off and end up with broken hearts? Protect yourself.

Finally, try and be sensitive to what people around you are seeing and saying to you. When it comes down to it, it is ultimately your choice on whom you should marry, but if you are hearing from several trusted people that you need to break it off, maybe you should try and see what they are seeing.

Remember that God really has created someone just for you. Play it smart. Pray about it. Don’t jump into anything that doesn’t feel right. You shouldn’t feel like you are compromising when you decide to be with someone. And if you’re like M and I, one day you’ll look back at the road traveled and be pleased with how you grew together as boyfriend and girlfriend into a happy married couple.

A few months ago, M sold his Grand Am in order to get rid of a car payment. My Buick had been paid off since the day I got it, and M’s parents let us use their little Festiva as a run-around car. So for a few months, we were living in bliss with no car payment. As we know, that quickly changed when my car broke down and left us stranded in the humid heat of Iowa for 6 hours as we waited for M’s dad to come rescue us. The engine was shot. We both decided we were done with my Buick. It wasn’t worth fixing. So that only means one thing: we had to get a different car.

We spent all day the next day after getting home shopping for cars in a larger city, about thirty miles from our home. We knew we liked Pontiac Vibes for their versatility and gas mileage, but they were hard to come by. We got sidetracked and looked at some other cars, but nothing really caught out attention like a Vibe. After hours of looking, my excitement started turning into discouragement. I never realized car shopping could be so frustrating!

We returned back home with our tails between our legs, until we went to a car dealership in our hometown. They had the largest selection of Vibes we had seen anywhere. Buying new was out of the question, but there were two cars they had closer to our price range. One thing we soon discovered about the Vibes was that they hold their value more than most other cars. For a three year old car with 50,000 miles, they were asking only a few thousand dollars less than what was paid for a new car at that time. On top of that, the interior was not as pristine as what we would like, and the car didn’t even have ABS. But being that we knew we can’t afford a new car, it was really our only option at the time.

Each evening for the next few days, M and I took several trips to the surrounding towns, only to find a very poor selection of Vibes, if any. Supposedly they are a hot item right now, and they are quick sellers, so few dealerships have them. We kept talking with our salesman in town and had him give us a print out of what our payments would be on the used vehicle. Just for fun, we had him give us a print out of a new Vibe as well. We were shocked! Because a new car has a much lower interest rate than buying used, the monthly payments were very comparable. Because of this, M started talking as if a new car was actually a possibility.

Let me give you a little background about our families. I came from a family of eight children. Buying a new car was never even an option for us. And to this day, my parents think that buying a new car is a waste of money, since it depreciates so much as soon as you drive it off the lot. M, however, just has one other sibling. His parents believe in buying new because its the only way you know for sure that you are getting a decent car, as well as a warranty to back it up. I don’t believe either of our parents is wrong in their thinking, but it kind of caused some conflict between M and I. I like the idea of getting a new car, but I kept asking, “Do we really need a new car?” I could tell M was sold on getting a new one, and when he showed me the numbers of our payments and total interest paid, I was convinced. New was the way to go.

So now, a week and a half after my old car died, we have a brand new Pontiac Vibe sitting in our garage. The story I’ve told you is definitely the shortened version. There was a lot of headache involved in making a decision. There were countless times where I felt so unsure about which decision was the right one. There were times when I had a bad attitude because of it. This was the first time in my life that I’ve ever had to go through having to buy a car, and I learned a lot.

If you are in the process of looking for a new car, and like me have never been through it before, here is some advice that will hopefully help you before you start. If someone had told me this before we started shopping, things probably would have gone much smoother.

1. Before even beginning to go car shopping, figure out how much you can afford. M and I had an idea of what we wanted to spend, but until you actually sit down and crunch the numbers, you are just guessing. Write a list of all of your expenses and add them up. Do the same with your income. Doing this will let you know how much extra money you have to work with each month for a car payment. It’s easy when car shopping to start with a limit and soon find yourself saying “but this one is only $2000 more”. If you start with a definite plan, you are more likely to stick with it.
2. Discuss with your spouse who will be doing most of the dealing, and how it will be done. M and I hit a major road block here. I was expecting M to handle most of the dealing, and I think he expected me to do some as well. There was one time in particular where we were looking at a car we were interested in. I was waiting for M to start talking price, while M was waiting for me to. We ended up leaving without ever discussing it with the salesperson, and the whole way home we were both in bad moods because of it. Tell each other your expectations before you even start, and your dealing will be much more pleasant.
3. Explore all options. When M and I started looking at cars, we thought buying new wasn’t a possibility. But by chance we found that the monthly payments and total interest paid between the new and used were nearly the same. We now have a perfect new car with 14 miles on it instead of a scratched used car with 44,000 miles for a difference of only $20 in monthly payments. Not only explore new versus used, but also kinds of vehicles you thought you might now even like. When the Vibe first came out, I thought they were ugly. M, however, liked them right away. Over time, I started to like them more, especially after seeing all of the possibilities for use. And when we started looking to buy, and actually test drove one, I was completely sold on it. So don’t pass anything by. You’re looking to spend a lot of money, and its a big commitment. Make sure you are going to be happy with your decision.
4. Pray about it. I believe that God wants you to make the right decision, even when it comes to picking out a car. He will direct you while you’re looking. Be listening for that still, small voice. God cares about the small stuff too. M and I prayed every day over our car situation, and I believe it’s because of God that we were able to purchase a new car. So don’t forget to pray!

Hopefully with this advice, your shopping experience will go a little smoother than ours did at first.

—

Update: I submitted this to ProBlogger’s: Lists – Group Writing Project. Check it out. I thought B had a great list of car buying tips. -M

It’s one of the most exciting times of your life: planning your wedding. But somewhere between deciding on the ceremony location and the number of guests, you soon find that you and your fiancé have some pretty different ideas of how you want your wedding to be. One of you wants to elope to Bermuda, and the other wants an elaborate church wedding. While these extreme views may seem like a road leading to disaster, I’m here to tell you that with just a little compromising from both sides can leave you with one of the most memorable weddings ever. The perfect mix of the untraditional with the traditional will have you and your new spouse off to a great start. The key is compromise.

I know from experience what it is like to try planning a wedding with someone who has different ideas than you. When M and I were planning our wedding, less than two years ago, we both had different visions for it. I had more of a “I don’t care if I break the rules” attitude, while M was more traditionally minded. However, the main thing we held common ground in was we both agreed we wanted our wedding to be fun. We were able to compromise and add some untraditional spice to a beautifully traditional wedding.

First of all, find out how involved your partner is going to be in planning the wedding. Do they want to be right by your side picking out everything, or is there just one specific aspect they are interested in? Sometimes guys may not want to be involved in planning because it is looked upon as being the woman’s day. But the more you are able to plan together, the more you can make the day enjoyable for both sides, as it should be! I was lucky enough to have a man that did care about our wedding, sometimes more than I did. Planning the wedding day together is a way to make sure both your personalities are able to shine through.

Planning the Untraditional, Traditional Ceremony

Deciding on location may be one of the hardest choices to make if you ideas are on opposite ends of the spectrum. But unfortunately its one of the first decisions you need to make in planning. If one of you wants to get married outside, or even in a different country, and the other wants to get married in their hometown church, big compromise is needed. For M and I, the choice came pretty easily. Although I liked the idea of eloping, our church and families are important to us, so we opted for a church wedding. If you run across the problem that one of you is set on a church wedding and one on getting married outside, how about getting married outside of a church? Just remember to take into account the time of year you’ll be getting married, as to if the weather will be decent for such an affair. Just remember when choosing your location to take into account the importance, or unimportance, or family and friends, and even your faith.

Though M and I chose a very traditional place to get married, we threw our own untraditional flair to the ceremony itself. Much of the ceremony itself was traditional. We had candles, flowers, an arbor, and a piano player. Our pastor married us. At the beginning of the ceremony as my dad walked me down the aisle to the wedding march, which M wanted, and gave me away. M and I walked up on the stage and M turned around and pulled a camera out of his pocket. He told everyone to smile and wave and he proceeded to take two pictures of our guests in the audience. It was one of the greatest things we could have done at our wedding. We now have pictures of every single guest we had at our wedding, and the looks on the individual faces are priceless. Some are shocked, some are laughing hysterically. I would recommend it to anyone getting married who wants to do something fun and unexpected during their ceremony.

The rest of our ceremony continued very traditionally, because we wanted it to be taken seriously also. There is a fine line between having a fun wedding and making a joke of it. We definitely didn’t want to do the latter. Another great time to add something fun and different to your wedding is during the recession. It is a great time to add music that is non-traditional recessional music. My four brothers and brother-in-law played the recessional at our wedding. I had them jam out the tune “Hug You, Squeeze You” by Stevie Ray Vaughan, which is an upbeat, blues song that they added harmonica to. They continued to play as all the wedding party exited and M and I returned to greet the guests from their seats instead of having the traditional receiving line. Having happy, upbeat music at the end of your wedding is a must in my eyes! It’s just not the same when walk out to something slow like Kenny G. Make it a happy time! You are in your first minutes of marriage!

Planning the Untraditional, Traditional Reception

Now you are past the hardest part: planning the untraditional, traditional ceremony and still keeping it classy and sincere. The reception is the perfect time where really anything can go. If your favorite food is macaroni and cheese and you want to serve it at your reception, go for it! You don’t have to have chicken and mashed potatoes. You don’t even have to have cake! The reception is the time to kick back and celebrate. Now it’s time for the untraditional rule, and you can get by with it!

My favorite food has always been tacos. I grew up on them. For much of the wedding, I didn’t care how we did things, but the one thing I had to have and was not willing to negotiate was having tacos at my reception. Luckily, the great guy I married was up for it as well. We wanted the reception as fun as possible. We decorated with a Mexican theme, with bright colored plates and napkins on the tables, Mexican hat straws and a bright colored table cloth from Mexico on the head table, and even piñatas hanging from the chandeliers. Chips in chile pepper-shaped baskets and salsa in bright colored salsa pots were waiting on the tables as guests went to the reception. To mix the theme with a little traditional, we had vases of roses and candles on the tables. Our drink of choice was Pepsi, my personal favorite, from a dispenser.

For dessert, we had cake. What made it different is that not only was it our wedding day, but it was M’s birthday as well. M had his very own cake and a candle to blow out on top as our 200+ guests all sang happy birthday. Me being M’s birthday present, had a red bow placed on top of my head during the song.

Another common practice at receptions is getting the bride and groom to kiss by tapping a fork on your glass. Of course, we had to do this different as well. Being that M enjoys golf, we had an area in front of our table in which someone would have to sink a putt from a predetermined distance in order for us to kiss. It was a good way to get the guests involved and having a good time.

So have fun in planning your reception. M and I have gotten so many comments about how our wedding was the most fun of any wedding they’d been to. Don’t feel like you have to have a proper and stale reception. It’s the time to celebrate, and to celebrate your way!

Choosing the Wedding Attire

Other things to keep in mind are choosing the bride’s and groom’s wedding attire, as well as the wedding party’s. If you’re the bride, try to stay true to your own personal style, as well as trying to please what you think the groom will like. With as many different styles and colors of wedding dresses there are these days, you need to make sure you are sensitive to what your future husband will find you the most beautiful in. This doesn’t mean he has to come with you to choose your dress. Just get an idea what he definitely likes, and does not like. Would he be thrilled or appalled if you came walking down the aisle in a black and white dress? Would he love to see a veil in your hair or not? M and I discussed this before I went dress shopping. He told me he definitely wanted me in a white dress and a veil, which that is what I wanted for myself anyways. I would stress that when you do go dress shopping, try on all different styles, even what you think you wouldn’t like. I told myself I would never get a strapless dress, but the one I decided to try one on, I absolutely loved it. It looked beautiful. So be flexible.

The groom should be able to choose what he wants to wear. Don’t tell him he has to wear a pink tie and vest, even if your wedding colors are pink. He needs to feel good too. M and I both liked the idea of having light gray tuxes, and they looked great for our summer wedding. They are also more casual looking than black. The guys also decided that instead of renting shoes, they would wear flip flops with their tuxes. And they did, and it was great! It really added to the fun atmosphere of the wedding.

Capturing Your Untraditional, Traditional Wedding

Your selection of photographer is key. You are about ready to have the biggest day of your life, and probably one of the most unique weddings ever. Make sure when selecting photographers that they are going to capture the uniqueness of your wedding. If you don’t want formal pictures with your family inside a church, take them outside. Take pictures of the wedding party jumping. Have them take lots of candids to capture the genuine side of your wedding, rather than posing with forced smiles.

Spend a lot of time scoping out photographers. It is essential to look through their past works. Photographers mostly have a style that is unique to them. Are there pictures more structured or do they have an eye for the unique? Do they seem flexible to work with your requests?

The photographer M and I selected is actually a member of our church, and did an incredible job. M and I had lists of fun and different ideas for pictures, and captured every single one. What made the pictures even greater was the fact that he had two cameras going at all times. Not only was he taking pictures, but his wife was shooting with her own camera. Their tag-team approach landed us with some beautiful pictures, many from unique angles. Having more than one professional photographer taking pictures at once makes a huge difference.

Planning your wedding so it is fun and sacred at the same time is achievable. If M and I pulled it off, anyone can. Be willing to compromise with your partner and enjoy the exciting time of your life as your get to plan your wedding. It doesn’t have to be a stressful time, especially if you both put your heads together. Please feel free to contact us with questions or leave a comment below.