His life could be on the verge of being decimated. His golf career hangs in the limbs as does his sponsorships…etc.  He made the news and that is all every one talks about.

Lets talk about a normal guy. Gets bored with his wife or gets temped at work with a pretty coworker who is single.  He may have drifted away from his family as he worked long hours or traveled a lot for work. He has a moral failure and cheats on his wife with another woman. I can’t imagine how his wife and kids would feel when they found out.

Men need to be true to their wives and familes.  Stay true and solid in your relationship with your wife. don’t let work get between your family and you. Take time off to enjoy your family and kids.  Leave the baggage of work out in the tree in the front yard. Find another man to talk things through. Someone who can hold you accountable.

Don’t have your own Tiger woods Dilemma.

1. Have multiple computers in the house.  It is so much easier for when you both need to work on school stuff or keep with the latest new story or blog post.  Set aside some time for computer related activities each night or on some sort of schedule.  My wife uses our laptop and I use my desktop downstairs.  It works out great.  We seem happier than if we are each nagging on each other for the computer.
2. Take pictures of memorable events with a digital camera. I posted earlier about taking cool, untraditional wedding pictures.  These tips can be applied to your everyday life as well.  Take pictures of fun events or funny events.  Photos last a long time in their digital form.  Make sure you back them up because it can be devastating if you have a hard drive fail on your computer.
3. The electric crock pot. Seriously, this thing rocks in our house.  Throw some meat in it with some potatoes and carrots and you will have a meal with little to no work.  Stress free cooking for the both of us.  Plus your house can smell great if you let it slow cook over night.
4. New dishwashers rock.  We still have the first one we ever bought but it still is sweet.  We will be buying another one someday.  This takes away the stress of doing the dishes by hand.  I do not think I could ever go with out one again.

There are plenty more ideas for how technology makes the world and marriages go around.  I am sure I will follow up with other posts on the subject.  Feel free to leave comments on how you see technology applying to marriage.

Here are a few ideas:

• Take the wedding party to a playground and climb all over the jungle gym.
• Have everybody jump on the count of three and have the picture snapped while everyone is either in the air or making funny faces.
• Have candid photos taken while your wedding party is just hanging out or walking around.
• Keep an eye on the flower girl and ring bearer for quote pictures.
• Have the bride “dip” the husband.
• Drive around a town and look for cool photo opts like old buildings, police station, or parks.
• Pictures by the water are great as well. standing on the dock looking to the water.

These are just a few ideas to get your creative juices flowing. Remember to have fun.  Please feel free to add more tips in the comments.  We are already married but we sure love to take fun pictures.

I have held a secret from my early childhood for my whole life, until 2 nights ago. My pastor had started a new marriage class on Wednesday nights on the book “What Husbands and Wives Aren’t Telling Each Other.” We were assigned to read the first chapter in the book as “homework” before the first class. We read the chapter together, out loud. It focused on how every person coming into a marriage has some type of baggage they bring with them, possibly caused by some kind of family dysfunction or traumatic experience as a child. The book listed several different scenarios that may cause future marital issues, such as being raped to feeling you couldn’t do anything right for your parents. The book continued to talk about how identifying these situations from your past and talking with your spouse about them will help the mending process, as well as giving your spouse a better understanding of you. Needless to say, while M read the book to me, memories from a hurtful past kept running through my head, and I tried to hide my tears. I didn’t want M to know what I’d been through.

At the end of the chapter were a series of discussion questions, in which we had to identify the emotion we struggle with the most in our marriage and where we thought it rooted from. After sharing with each other, I became very outwardly emotionally distressed, and M could tell something was really bothering me. I knew I needed to tell him what happened to me, but I was scared and felt ashamed. Somehow I managed to muster out, “I was messed with.” And then the real crying started. I had just told the person I love the most on this earth what I had never told anyone, and I was so afraid of his reaction. Would he be angry I didn’t share this painful part of my life with him before we got married? Would he feel like I’ve lied to him this whole time? Would he be disgusted with me and put blame on me? Sharing this secret with him was the hardest thing I have ever had to tell anyone.

So how did he react? I was amazed! He wasn’t angry one bit, but open and understanding. He held me and wiped my tears, and told me not to cover my face in shame. And most of all, he was patient. We stayed up until early in the morning until I was able to tell him exactly what happened to me. It took a very long time for me to tell him everything, from when, to where, to how, and the hardest…the who. But he waited patiently beside me the whole time, telling me it was okay, and waiting for me as I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

Yes, I was exposed to sexual experiences at a young age. M now knew that. After patiently waiting and listening, he found out a family member was the cause, which was the hardest thing for me to tell him of all. All this time we had been together, almost 7 years since we started dating, I was afraid to tell him thinking he’d reject me and blame me for what had happened. But do you know what he said? “It doesn’t change a thing with us.” That’s exactly what I needed to hear: total reassurance of his love for me. Through the whole process, he kept telling me how much he wanted to be able to help me with whatever has been bothering me all these years. And now that he knows my deepest, darkest secret, it is almost as if a weight has been lifted off my chest. Even thinking back to my experiences doesn’t hurt as bad. My husband knows all about it, and he still loves me and accepts me, and is there to help me through rough times whenever they pop into my head again.

If you are struggling with an issue from the past and you know you have a strong, loving relationship with your spouse, don’t be afraid to tell them! Yes, it will be very hard to bring up those past hurts and feelings, but the reward at the end is so great! I feel so much closer to M. He can now pray for healing in that specific area in my life and help me through it. If you can’t trust your spouse, the one you have vowed your entire life to, who can you trust?

It is hard for me to think of gifts for my wife when I am on my own. I have a few tips that may help the man out there who is pulling his hair trying to buy his a wife, girlfriend, or significant other a gift/gifts.

Layout the ground rules

Talk about what the plan is for Christmas. When are you celebrating? When can you get away and buys the gifts? Some couples have to have Christmas at multiple residences on different days. Know when those dates are so you can plan your own Christmas accordingly. Knowing when you can get away is important. My wife and I tried to go Christmas shopping for each other together. It was both exciting and dumb at the same time. We had to plan out routes and call each other when we were running to the car to put something in it. It helps to know when you can have some time alone and take your time to look for those perfect gifts or gift. Men, send your wife to get a massage or pedicure so you can go shopping. Women, tell your husband to plan a night with the guys.

It is also important to know when the house will be empty so you can wrap your gifts. Laying the ground rules for Christmas shopping is an important step.

Set spending limits

This is especially true for a married couple or dating couples. This limit will “keep the playing field level.” There is nothing worse than buying the gift you think would be perfect for your wife and she buys you something REALLY nice that is worth way more that what you got her. This works both ways as well. The value of the gift shouldn’t matter, but it does make the person who bought the lesser valued gift feel badly sometimes. At least it makes me feel bad and that I failed.
The limit will make buying the gifts exciting and fun. Some people take this limit setting route and then go buy one gift for the value of the limit. This can be a perfect choice! I like to take it the other way and get awesome gifts that fill the area under the tree. It was like a game for me. I had my list, which we will get to next, and I went out looking for the most items for the spending limit. It was like a contest the closer I got without going over was the winner. “The Price is Right” style…right?

We even set limits on our stockings as well. Give setting spending limits a try for this Christmas or the next. It makes life easier for both the man and the woman.

Give each other ideas and a list.

I don’t think I would do as well if B and I did not make lists for each other. The list is like a guide that will help jar your memory and get the creative juices flowing. Make you list have all kinds if choice on it with all kinds of dollar values. It is also good to put high valued items on there that are above and beyond the spending limit. This gives you ideas to buy accessories or things within that area of the high priced item. For example, B put a shotgun on her list. A shotgun costs way more than our limits is. It may have given me ideas that she may want to start hunting again or shooting clay pigeons. It may get ideas to buy her shooting glasses, a blaze orange pheasant vest, …etc.
The real benefit to adding all sorts of items to the list is that it gives your husband or wife ideas for other occasions. Anniversaries, milestone gifts like graduations…etc.

The main take away is that this list will help your loved one decide on ideas and gifts for you. You may not get anything off your list. Make gift buying easy on your significant other.

Some people don’t know how to swing fluently and they search online for how-to’s that teach them the steps for something. Swinging with your wife can be relaxing and enjoyable if you know how to swing correctly.

It would be ideal if you could find a swing set that has two open swings side-by-side. You can sit right next to your husband or wife and swing. This allows you to look at each other and even hold hands. There is something special about doing things that you once did as a child as an adult. It makes you and your wife feel like a kid again. Swinging can bring on conversations with your wife that will strengthen your marriage and create an even tighter bond between the two of you.

Let’s get into the logistics of swinging correctly with your husband or wife. Find a swing set in a quite park. Make sure there a two swings side-by-side to aid in making conversation easier and allow the holding of hands if desired.

How to swing properly with your wife or husband:

1. Sit in the swing.
2. Walk backwards till you can barely touch the ground.
3. Lift your feet and begin to swing and lean backwards with your legs straight out in front of you.
4. Lean forward and move your legs under and towards you as you swing at the highest point.
5. Hold this position till you are at the highest point in the back swing and then begin to lean back and pump your legs straight out in front of you.
6. Keep repeating this pumping motion as you swing back and forth.

That is how to swing. You and your significant other can now swing side by side. You can swing slow and talk or you can see who can swing the highest. You could also have a jumping contest if you body is able to see who can land farther out from the swing set. This works well if you and your significant other are competitive. Just be careful so you don’t injure yourself.

Swinging on a swing set can be a nice relaxing activity to get you and your wife or husband to get outside and enjoy the weather. Now you know how to swing with your wife. Remember; be safe while you are swinging with your significant other.

Relationships are give and take and a lot of men take all they can get. We can drain our wives of their emotions and life if you do not give back and love them with good deeds around the house. You will be amazed at how much your wife will love you back when you do nice things for her.

I must add a disclaimer that you shouldn’t do anything on this list that you can’t do without breaking or wrecking something. I understand that it is the thought that counts, but do not ruin her favorite pair of jeans because you washed them with a brand new red shirt.

Here are a few things you could do to bless your wife:

1. Hand wash the dishes.
2. Clean the bathroom without her knowing you did.
3. Wash all the laminate and hardwood floors by hand with a bucket of water and a rag.
4. Make the bed for her while she is in the shower getting ready for work or just the day.
5. Water the garden/flowers for her before she gets out of bed.
6. Leave her a note on the bathroom mirror that she deserves a back rub when you get home. It will make her happy all day.
7. Wash the laundry for her instead of having her do it. Please sort the whites and colors though.
8. Vacuum the whole house as if your life depended on it. Vacuum everywhere that the vacuum and hose can reach.
9. Make her a nice little lunch for her to take to work. Slip a few chocolates in there also.
10. Tell her that you want to have a picnic with her.
11. The final thought for this short list is to ask your wife what she would like you to do for her. You may find out some things that will bless her and it will make your relationship healthier.

This is not a whole and complete list. There are so many things that we can do for our wife that will make your relationship healthier and that will keep the relationship going strong.

Please feel free to add some more ideas in the comments. I am interested in why the readers have to say. Tell us about the little things you do for your wife that make your relationship strong and more fun.

M was the first guy I had ever kissed. We had dated about a month before we kissed for the first time, and although I was scared out of my mind, I was ready. I had gotten to know M well, and I trusted him. Trust is a big issue when it comes to kissing. You are allowing someone to come within your personal space which communicates a message to the person. Most people don’t just let anyone into their personal space, and by kissing someone, it tells them that you feel a special closeness to them. Although I had never kissed a guy before M, I did have the opportunity to. I was with a group of school friends, and I got to talking with a certain guy from school. We talked for a while and realized everyone else was gone. When I started leaving to meet up with the rest of the group, he pulled me in with his arms and tried to kiss me. I was completely startled and pulled away from him. I hardly knew the guy, and talking with him for about an hour was not enough time for me to trust him enough to kiss him. So like I said before, kissing conveys trust between two people.

Once the first kiss was introduced in our relationship, M and I would often find ourselves spending most of our time together doing just that. It was new and exciting to us, and it let me know that he was still interested in being with me. Although kissing all the time eventually wears off in a relationship, it is still a way to provide reassurance that you still want to be with the other person. I’m sorry to have to admit it, but girls like to be reassured about a lot of things. And here is the easy part guys; kissing allows you to reassure our importance to you without having to express it with words. Of course, words are important too, but kissing is a great way to start. Feel free to read more about what women want to hear.

After M and I had been married a few months, I can distinctly remember a time when some young married women from my church were asking me about how married life was treating me. It was during this conversation that one of them asked me a question that shocked me. Do you guys still kiss? I couldn’t believe why someone would ask such an absurd question, until all the women started laughing and informed me that after you are married for a while, you don’t kiss anymore. I wouldn’t have believed it except that all of them were agreeing. Is this possibly true for the rest of you out there reading this? Does kissing stop after being married for a while?

If so, I am scared for where my relationship is heading. Kissing, and not just a peck on the cheek, is something that I need to have a healthy relationship with my husband. We actually just had this conversation last night. It is so important for he and I to kiss, and for it to not exactly lead to anything else. A long and meaningful kiss from M makes me feel as if I mean the world to him. It is a time when I have his full focus and attention in a sweet and romantic way. Let me emphasize again the importance of kissing sometimes just for the sake of kissing. Guys get a bad break when it comes to kissing just to initiate the beginning of other intimate things. I’m telling all you guys out there, just have a big kissing session with your wife sometime, and don’t take it any further. It will blow her away. I know it does me. So from now on, don’t underestimate the importance of kissing.

Before getting married, M and I had discussed our plans for a family in the future. I highly recommend this to anyone on the road to marriage so your partner clearly knows your feelings on the issue. M has always known that I would be just fine not having any children. I am very happy with it just being M and I. However, he has always loved the thought of having a family someday. Though it seems like we were on polar opposites on the issue, we decided to get married anyways, after all, my views could someday change as my “biological clock” kept ticking.

M and I have now been married almost two years, and the topic of children has come up several times during our marriage. Though I have warmed up to the thought of having kids with M, I still don’t want it to be anytime in the near future. After all, I just graduated from college and still feel too young to be having kids. M is a few years older than I, and he has brought up the fact that he doesn’t want to be really old when our kid/s would finally graduate from high school.

So here is my dilemma. Do we start a family sooner than later and be able to enjoy a younger retirement, or do we wait and enjoy our youth and freedom together? I find myself asking, “When is the right time to have a baby?” I personally feel like I am not ready to give up the freedom I have now and be tied down to caring for a baby. I want to have more time for M and I to be alone and enjoy being newlyweds. I know that sounds completely selfish, but I am just being as completely honest as possible. I don’t want to lie to myself and M and say that I am ready when I am not. I believe that would just cause problems in our relationship, and the experience of raising children wouldn’t be appreciated. Another thing I have felt guilty about is that I have never been a “baby person.” Some women just go crazy over babies, but I definitely do not. In fact, sometimes other people’s babies gross me out, just to be completely honest. Am I the only one like this? I feel horrible about it, but it’s the truth. Because I feel this way about other people’s children, I am afraid that I might despise of regret having my own child. In this way, I feel totally unprepared and incapable of caring for a baby.

On the other hand, parts of me like the thought of having a baby with M. For example, I know he would be a great father. He is incredibly good with kids, and he has such a gentle way with them. I have visions of him playing catch in the backyard with our son, or holding our daughter in his lap, reading her a book. I know he would be the best dad ever. But then it makes me doubt my ability to be a good mom. Growing up, I was a big daddy’s girl, and I always seemed to clash with my mom. I fear that this would be the case with my kids some day.

Another thing I struggle with is the thought of bringing kids into a world that is going downhill fast. Even though I’m a Christian, it is scary to look around and see all of the horrible things going on in the world and the fact that it will only get more dangerous as the end nears. Would I really want to bring children into this world? Is it selfish to want to bring kids into the world just to fulfill a “void” in my life, or because it’s what we’re supposed to do?

I have heard it said several times that there is never the right time to have a baby, but when it happens, you make it the right time. No matter how much planning, there is never enough money, never enough time, never the right emotional or mental state to have a baby at the right time. There is no such thing as the perfect age either. The only thing I can rely on is that God has a plan and if and when it is supposed to be, it will. The few core things that I need present in my life to consider having a baby are a part of my life. First of all, I am married. I wouldn’t have a baby out of wedlock. Secondly, I have the support of my husband, who respects me and my decisions, and is a great partner. I can trust him to be a good father as well. I would never bring children into the world if I had problems with my mate. Adding children would only make it worse. Last of all, we are financially stable enough to afford a kid. Okay, I realize that you can never really “afford” a kid, but M has a great job and we own a home. All of these things are very important to me.

I realize that I have mostly written about my own thoughts on this issue and how I rationalize when the “right time” to have a baby is. However, I am hoping that in sharing my thoughts, you may think of something you have never thought of before, or you maybe even have some advice that you can share with anybody else asking the same questions. I wish you luck in finding your “right time.”