His life could be on the verge of being decimated. His golf career hangs in the limbs as does his sponsorships…etc.  He made the news and that is all every one talks about.

Lets talk about a normal guy. Gets bored with his wife or gets temped at work with a pretty coworker who is single.  He may have drifted away from his family as he worked long hours or traveled a lot for work. He has a moral failure and cheats on his wife with another woman. I can’t imagine how his wife and kids would feel when they found out.

Men need to be true to their wives and familes.  Stay true and solid in your relationship with your wife. don’t let work get between your family and you. Take time off to enjoy your family and kids.  Leave the baggage of work out in the tree in the front yard. Find another man to talk things through. Someone who can hold you accountable.

Don’t have your own Tiger woods Dilemma.

Timing is everything when deciding to have kids. Finances need to be in order so money is not a problem when the little one arrives or when you decide to pursue having kids. Some people dive right into having kids with no worry whatsoever about money and financial stability. These couples can either make it or struggle through life. Children are a blessing and can bring joy and happiness to couple if they are both ready.

Discuss the idea of having kids early in the stages of a serious relationship. The late stage of dating is a good place to ask this question. Do not assume that the man or women of your dreams feels the same way you do about having kids. It is always best to ask. Don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask this delicate question. Dating is where you find out if you are indeed compatible with one another. Why wouldn’t you want to learn everything you can about your potential life mate? After all, you have to live life with this significant other for the rest of your life. Do not go into a marriage/serious relationship without talking about having kids.

I have heard countless stories about couples feeling that they are ready for marriage and progress to that stage of life. They get married and the wife wants to have kids right away or the husband wants to have kids right away. Both individuals may have a different time table in their heads which they want to follow. It is important to learn these details so some common ground can be found. Don’t be stubborn and hard-headed. Compromise with your significant other and make a decision. Be happy with the decision that you both want to make right now.

Some couples want to live life right away during the first years of marriage. That is a great mindset to have if you both agree. This is where B and I are right now. There are a lot of young couples who had kids nine months after marriage or two months after marriage. They now have to devote 99% of their life to this little one for years. Get to know each other once you are married. Having kids at this stage in the marriage can be both a blessing and a hindrance. After all, most people say that the first year of marriage is the most difficult. As you know, B and I believe differently about this “Myth.”

Waiting to have kids till you are older can bring its own difficulties. You may have to see a fertility specialist to learn about options for having kids at this stage in life due to your age. This can drain you both emotionally and financially. In Vitro Fertilization can cost on average about $12,000 and isn’t typically covered by insurance. Obviously, waiting too long has its own problems.

All in all, it is your decision to make. You and your mate need to decide when the best time is to have children. Don’t let family and friend help you make the decision. Your mother-in-law will not be around at 3 in the morning when you are up with the baby. The decision is yours. Make the right decision based on finances; your relationship with your significant other, timing, and the list can go on and on. Take some time to talk to your mate and find out what they think about the age old question… When should we have kids?

Please feel free to add a comment on your decision making style that you and your significant other made. B and I are still discussing this and we would like to hear more from actual young parents.

We bought our Wii when they first came out. It was so much fun to play the free game that came with it. We played every night and we had a riot. I felt like I was twelve years old again. We were competitive and that was OK. Some couples can have problems with too much competition. Being competitive and having fun can turn a cold winter’s night or a rainy day into a fun time with your significant other.

Laughter is the medicine that soothes the soul. I was attracted to B for her fun laugh and sense of humor. Playing the Wii will generate a ton of laughter. We plan on buying some more games when the new Mario Kart and Mario game come out later this year.

We also enjoy having other couples over to play the Wii. We can play team tennis with them and have an awesome time. Some couples will want to buy the gaming console because they had so much fun with their significant other. I feel that video games on the Wii can now include more people than just young kids.

An article in the Chicago Tribune talks about Nintendo Wii’s finding themselves in retirement homes:

A lot of grandparents are being taught by their grandkids. But, now, some grandparents are instead teaching their grandkids.

The Wii has become so popular at Sedgebrook that on Sunday afternoon there will be a video game bowling tournament in the lounge. More than 20 residents have signed up to compete.

“We’ll even have a fan for people to dry their hands before they bowl,” said Dierbach, head of Sedgebrook’s entertainment committee.

If the retirees in Lincolnshire are any proof, video games are no longer just kids’ play.

My Grandma played Wii Bowling over Christmas and enjoyed it. She laughed harder than anybody in the room.

This is proof that video games can generate relationships and also strengthen them through a sense of fun and community with both couples, friends, and all ages.

M was the first guy I had ever kissed. We had dated about a month before we kissed for the first time, and although I was scared out of my mind, I was ready. I had gotten to know M well, and I trusted him. Trust is a big issue when it comes to kissing. You are allowing someone to come within your personal space which communicates a message to the person. Most people don’t just let anyone into their personal space, and by kissing someone, it tells them that you feel a special closeness to them. Although I had never kissed a guy before M, I did have the opportunity to. I was with a group of school friends, and I got to talking with a certain guy from school. We talked for a while and realized everyone else was gone. When I started leaving to meet up with the rest of the group, he pulled me in with his arms and tried to kiss me. I was completely startled and pulled away from him. I hardly knew the guy, and talking with him for about an hour was not enough time for me to trust him enough to kiss him. So like I said before, kissing conveys trust between two people.

Once the first kiss was introduced in our relationship, M and I would often find ourselves spending most of our time together doing just that. It was new and exciting to us, and it let me know that he was still interested in being with me. Although kissing all the time eventually wears off in a relationship, it is still a way to provide reassurance that you still want to be with the other person. I’m sorry to have to admit it, but girls like to be reassured about a lot of things. And here is the easy part guys; kissing allows you to reassure our importance to you without having to express it with words. Of course, words are important too, but kissing is a great way to start. Feel free to read more about what women want to hear.

After M and I had been married a few months, I can distinctly remember a time when some young married women from my church were asking me about how married life was treating me. It was during this conversation that one of them asked me a question that shocked me. Do you guys still kiss? I couldn’t believe why someone would ask such an absurd question, until all the women started laughing and informed me that after you are married for a while, you don’t kiss anymore. I wouldn’t have believed it except that all of them were agreeing. Is this possibly true for the rest of you out there reading this? Does kissing stop after being married for a while?

If so, I am scared for where my relationship is heading. Kissing, and not just a peck on the cheek, is something that I need to have a healthy relationship with my husband. We actually just had this conversation last night. It is so important for he and I to kiss, and for it to not exactly lead to anything else. A long and meaningful kiss from M makes me feel as if I mean the world to him. It is a time when I have his full focus and attention in a sweet and romantic way. Let me emphasize again the importance of kissing sometimes just for the sake of kissing. Guys get a bad break when it comes to kissing just to initiate the beginning of other intimate things. I’m telling all you guys out there, just have a big kissing session with your wife sometime, and don’t take it any further. It will blow her away. I know it does me. So from now on, don’t underestimate the importance of kissing.

I feel bad when I don’t feel like cuddling sometimes. I enjoy my space and like to relax after work. I realize that this is one of her needs though. I tend to be a warm blooded person who gets really hot extremely fast.

If women need to be close and cuddle, men need to just do it. Make an effort to always make your wife happy. It may drive you nuts, but push through and meet that need. I am sure your wife or girlfriend goes out of her comfort zone to do things for you. Return the favor. Here are a few tips to help you along the way:

My wife hates ironing clothes. It turns out that I hate ironing and I do a bad job. It makes me feel extremely loved if she does it for me. This makes my ability to cuddle a little easier because she blesses me with ironing. Marriage is all about blessing each other and making your love grow stronger.

What do you do to bless your wife/husband? Feel free to leave a comment. I love to hear other techniques! Specifically about cuddling…

This past week has been a stressful one. It has been hard on our relationship because I have been looking at another job that had presented itself to me. It was my first attempt at looking for another job while currently employed. It was also the first time I had gone through a time like this with my wife. It seemed like the weeks took so long to go by. I was full of anxiety the whole time. From the time I clicked send in my email with the resume to the time I made a decision about the job.

It was an opportunity that was extremely hard to pass up. My wife knew that from the start and so did I. The problem was that we would of had to move to a different town about 2 hours away and try and sell out current house. The housing market is not what it used to be and I was having serious doubts about trying to sell a house. Our life was extremely busy and full of decisions for the short span of about 3 weeks. It is amazing how much you can talk about something with your wife and never really come to a clear understanding of the direction we needed to go. It was a huge decision.

The job would have provided great benefits to me as well as a substantial salary increase. The area would of been great for B to find a job that she liked with her degree. It was all looking so good to us. We both had are minds on a salary figure that we felt meant that God wanted us to move to the new location and take the job. Both of our families did not like the idea, but they wanted what was best for us. The real issue of why we didn’t make the move is because of timing.

The job opportunity fell in my lap and I thought I would give it a shot. It would be a good learning experience if anything. I submitted my resume and then waited. I heard back from the gentleman who was filling the position and he wanted to interview me. I drove up and went to the interview. I was so anxious and scared! I couldn’t think straight. I went in the interview and absolutely nailed it! It felt so good to be interviewed by two separate groups of people and felt like I did a good job. It was all looking good. I asked the questions that I wanted to ask. They said that the start date would be flexible and that family came first before work. The later is the most important to me by far.

The flexible start date was important because B doesn’t finish college for about 2 months yet. They said the start date would indeed be flexible. I was happy to hear that. The manager called me and wanted to offer me the job. B and I both felt like things were happening for the good and for a good reason. We set up a time when I could talk to the manager and HR about the salary and the benefits. They shot me an offer and it felt like I had been slapped across the face. It was only a little higher than what I was currently making and hardly enough to go through the process of selling a home, moving and buying another home. It wasn’t even affordable at best. I was devastated. He also told me that the start date was to be no longer than 30 days out after acceptance. That put me starting my job 1 month before B was even done with college. We would of been apart for a month. I didn’t like that.

I knew that a person should never take the first offer and always go higher. I called him back and told him that I wasn’t happy with the initial offer and that it wouldn’t even be worth it to move. He said he would call me back. He did and the offer was double what he had initially offered. He said it was the final offer and all the higher he would go. We were getting there, but not to the “Magic” number that would make us decide that it was what we were supposed to do. B and I crunched all sorts of numbers with different salary figures, house payments, bills, debt…etc. We had it all covered. I even looked at the tax brackets to see if I was getting into another bracket and would end up taking a loss after paying taxes.

I called the guy back and told him the minimum salary that we would even consider to make the move. He said he would check for me and see if he could do that. He called me back and said that he could make that offer, but I would have to let him know by the end of the day if I was going to accept the position. That was another bogus statement. B was in school yet and wouldn’t be home till 1 hour before the decision had to be made. I was not happy about that. I waited till B got home and told her about it. She told me to call him back and ask if the decision could be made after the weekend. He said it was OK and that he was sorry he put such a harsh demand on me like that. So, now I had to go tell my manager about the offer and the decision I had to make over the weekend.

My manager and I met for a half hour and then I headed home. He called me back a half hour later and wanted to go out for lunch the next day to discuss what he wanted to offer to keep me here. That sounded good and I gave it a shot. I was absolutely floored by the offer and wanted to say yes right there. I had to wait to talk to B. She was floored also. It was an unbelievable offer. I couldn’t say no to it.

I called the manager for the job I applied for and told him why I couldn’t take the job. I never mentioned that I received a counter offer. I told him three things that kept me from taking a job that I absolutely wanted:

He understood me completely and we both agreed why I couldn’t take the job. He said he would keep me in mind for the next opportunity and I thanked him for that. It was a wonderful learning experience. He would of been a good manager for sure.

The take away from the whole ordeal is to do what feels right and what you feel God wants for you and your loved ones. I turned down a great opportunity because I wanted to be with my wife at all possible times. It wasn’t good for a 1.5 year old marriage to go through. We did talk that aspect over and agreed that we may have to do that, but in the end, our relationship won out over a good job. I love my wife with all my heart and I couldn’t see myself choosing a job over her. I hope this event helps you in your relationship with your wife. Careers are cool, but not as cool as a great marriage! Feel free to leave a comment for us.

Avoidant Daters

Avoidant daters are singles who don’t date at all, even if the opportunity comes along. One reason a man or woman chooses not to date is time. For example, some people feel that between work, school, family, church, and friends, they just don’t have any time for the dating game. Another reason one might date is because it isn’t appealing to them. Some people just flat out aren’t interested in dating at the certain points in their lives. There are also those who aren’t allowed to date. Some parents have ruled that their children can’t date until they reach a certain age. Besides all of these reasons one might not date, there is always the fact that some people simply don’t get the opportunity, even if they are interested. Dating takes two individuals, and for some, the other half just hasn’t come into the picture quite yet.

Intermittent Daters

Intermittent daters are men and women who don’t purposefully seek relationships, but if the opportunity comes they will take it. Such daters have other priorities in their life that they don’t mind keeping first over dating relationships. I saw a woman whose story was on the news recently about this very thing. She was a confident individual who felt she can live her life with or without a partner and be happy with herself, however never denying the fact that she would like a partner. Intermittent daters believe that in the right timing, fate will take its, so there is no need in vigorously seeking relationships.

Casual Daters

Casual daters are individuals who find dating as something fun to do, some even look at it as being a hobby. For example, some men and women date many different people, and do so often. These type aren’t necessarily looking for a serious relationship with anyone at this point; but just want to experience the fun and excitement comes with the dating process. Long term commitment is never on the casual daters mind.

Serious Daters

Serious daters are those who are dating with one soul purpose; to find their life partner. These daters have come to the point in their life where they are done fooling around being avoidant, intermittent, and casual daters, and they are prepared for the next big step in life. When I entered my relationship with M, I knew I was entering a serious relationship. I believe that M had the same intentions as well. And dating seriously doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t fun. As the relationship grows longer and deeper, marriage is often brought up in the conversations. Such a partnership has the potential of marriage, and that is exactly what the serious dater is looking for. I am happy to find it worked for M and I!

Dating Addicts

Besides these positive methods of dating, there is one form that can be very harmful to a dater. Dating addicts are those who have become so dependent on having another person in their life that they must constantly be in a relationship to feel like a whole person. These daters often have low self-esteem and try to fill that void by sharing a bond with someone else. I have known a girl for several years who this describes perfectly. Having started dating at a young age, she doesn’t know how to function as an self-confident individual. Moving quickly and painfully from one hurtful relationship to the next has become the common trend in her dating experience, as with most dating addicts. Dating addicts often get caught in this vicious cycle that leaves no heart unharmed.

Avoidant, intermittent, casual, and serious dating are for different individuals at different stages of life which can be considered, for the most part, healthy ways of approaching dating. Dating addiction, on the other hand, can be harmful if not recognized and measures are taken to break the pattern. Dating will likely continue being a prominent way of mate selection for most singles. Some helpful advice; choose wisely, and know your purpose in dating. Try to remove yourself from your current situation and see it from someone else’s eyes. You may find that your current relationship, or lack of, is a positive or negative thing. And just remember to do what is right for you.

Please post a comment and tell us the technique you currently are using or what you have used in the past.

This is really the first time in my life I have experienced a huge emotional meltdown when I stepped on the scale. I felt angry at myself for not being more careful. But with M’s help, I am turning that anger into motivation to lose the weight and get myself back to where I was, or maybe even better than what I was. So how am I going to do it? By sitting down right now and making my game plan! Here it is:

First of all, I’m definitely not doing this alone. M will not only be cheering me on, but he’ll be going through this as well. He lost quite a bit of weight last year, and wants to continue to do so, which will be a huge motivator for me! Having both partners decide to change their lifestyles is essential for success in this case. My sister-in-law, Sarah, has also decided to be a part of our quest to shed some extra pounds. This is exciting because the more people involved in our weight loss pool, the more competitive and motivated I get, as well as being accountable to more than one person. So if you want to get in shape, drag your significant other into it as well, or a best friend. It will increase your probability of success.

I would have a hard time eating healthy if M sat across from me every night eating a pizza while I had yogurt. Yet another reason why I am glad we are in this together! Now our whole fridge is stocked with healthy food for both of us. There are no temptations when you eliminate them completely, and this is what we have done. We are eating much lighter meals, mostly sandwiches and salad, and bringing healthy snacks with us to work. We have completely eliminated soda, and are drinking mostly water. We have also started drinking hot green tea during or after our meals. I was reading in my Women’s Health magazine that drinking green tea after meals will cut the amount of calories from carbohydrates your body digests by 25%! So now we are religious tea drinkers. Drink your tea!

The part I am probably the most excited about is hitting the gym. A new 24/7/365 fitness center is opening in our hometown in a few days, and M, Sarah and I are just about busting the doors down with excitement. I have gone to the gym with M in the past, but I always felt awkward because I was one of the only girls in there. But now that Sarah will be joining us, I will feel much more comfortable just to have a friend along who is of the same sex.

I know that by surrounding myself by people who have a common goal, I’m going to get exactly where I want to be, which is 125 pounds. If I lose more than that, even better! But I know at least I won’t have to squeeze into my jeans anymore if I’m back where I’m supposed to be! And what’s my other motivation? Hawaii 2008! We’re going as a family, and I want to look awesome in my bikini!

If you want to lose weight with us, leave a message and let us know what your plan is, or if you have any tips. And keep watching for my progress as well! I think having to post it for the world to see will motivate me even more. Wish me luck!

Let’s face it, women are wired completely different than men! Our brains work differently. We think and do things differently. Our physical make up is different. But these are all good things! We were made to be compliments to one another. Generally speaking, women tend to be more emotional than men. This is nothing new to us. However, when a woman starts getting “moody,” they easily get labeled a five-letter word and men give it no further thought.

This is not a men-bashing article. If anything, I want to help men and women better understand their wife’s (or own) emotions. I want to use some personal experience from M and I’s relationship. First of all, M and I rarely fight. But when we do, it seems that I am almost always the cause of it. M would never accuse me of this, but I know it’s true. How? Because every time we fight, its because I am an emotional wreck.

For example, this weekend I got home from school, M got home from work, and we were fixing supper together. Sounds fun, right? It was, until we started sarcastically teasing each other, which we do often and usually it doesn’t bother me. It was all out of fun. But for some reason, words that were exchanged suddenly struck a nerve with me, and I instantly started boiling inside. It only progressed from there. M thought we were still joking around, and each thing he did hurt me even more. The ultimate offense was when he gave our dog something to play with that I had thrown away. When I found it on the floor, I picked it up, apparently yelled “you stupid idiot” (we don’t swear) while throwing the object at him and ran out into the garage, crying.

So what was I feeling at this point? First of all, I was cold. Our garage isn’t heated. Second, I couldn’t understand why on earth I went from having fun to instantly freaking out. I sat in the garage a long time, not to punish M and wonder when he’d come get me, but to punish myself. I felt so stupid. I had never gotten that crazy on M before. And what was even more bothersome was that there was no reason for it. To this day, I still can’t understand what happened to make me so upset. So finally after “calming” down, I swallowed my pride and went back into the house.

M was probably feeling pretty lost at this point. But to be honest, so was I. Was it a combination of stress, hormones, and built up emotion that caused the explosion? I really don’t know. And the sad thing was, my emotional state lasted all weekend. Friday was the explosion, Saturday I was weepy and doubting M wanting to be with me, and Sunday I was down and slept nearly half the day. There was no reason for me to doubt M’s love for me, or to be depressed. But I was.

I definitely don’t mean this to be depressing. I just want to tell men that it really is true; understanding a woman’s emotions is nearly impossible, even for women! I can’t even understand it myself. When M asked me what was wrong, I seriously couldn’t give him a reason. But as with everything else, it will pass. So just stick it out and remember that the woman you married is still under those death-stare or tear-filled eyes. And lots of hugs and reassurance that you still love us helps too.

B wants to hear me say “I love you.” I think all women in a serious relationship need and want to hear this often. I know it is very important to say it in marriage. Don’t just say it once a day because you feel you need to say it. That will water the phrase down and make it less meaningful. Love is a key word in marriage and in serious relationships. It is nothing to play around with. Men, you have to mean it every time and want to say it. You may need to do some serious soul searching and reflection if you don’t feel like saying it to your wife.

B likes it when I serenade her with a song. This is a funny want that maybe only B wants to hear. She loves it when I make up a song about her or about us that I make up as I go. We laugh and giggle throughout the song. I may take the tune of Amazing Grace and run with that beat and let the thoughts and words flow. We love to have fun together and I feel that is the key. Try it sometime. Make up a funny love song and drop it on your wife when she is least expecting it. I used to do it a lot and I know she misses it and I will do it again.

I like to call B my Wife. When I introduce her, I say “This is my wife, B.” Most of you reading this are saying “Well duh…” right now. This isn’t my point. I know B would love to have me say it like this, “This is my bride, B.” It sounds so neat and elegant. I like to call her “My beautiful babe!” Women need to be reassured that you are still crazy for them even if you don’t always show it out on your sleeves. Men tend to hold emotion inside and protect it. Women wear it on there sleeves, necks, shoes, and so on. They live and breathe emotions. I am going to try and start saying “This is my bride B.” You could add the words wonderful, beautiful, awesome, loving …etc in the phrase. Men that aren’t married could replace the word bride with girlfriend. Introducing your wife/significant other to somebody like this will make her feel loved and know that you truly believe in what you say.

Women want to hear a simple phrase of “thank you.” Your wife does a lot around the house and she needs to feel like it is all good and that it means something to you. I love it when B irons my shirts. It means a lot to me. She does a great job! I always try and say thank you to her. Saying thank you tells your wife that you appreciate them and care for them. B does so much around the house and it makes me feel so good. Why wouldn’t I want to make her feel good by thanking her? I think men also need to help their wives with chores around the house. I will save that for another post on another day. Bless you wife often and you will find that she will want to bless you back. The blessings become circular it will grow your relationship.

The bottom line is that communication is the key to a strong relationship! Ask your wife what she needs to hear more often from you. Tell her what you need to hear more often from her. Communication is a two-way street. You will find that your love will grow for each other as you both do and say little things that mean the world to each other. What things does your wife want to hear from you? Share them in the comments so we all can learn and get ideas.