Comments on: Manhood 101: A man does not own a marriage… http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/ Marriage, Faith, and Technology... Let's Talk! Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:49:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: David Peairs http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-648 David Peairs Fri, 23 Feb 2007 20:32:30 +0000 http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/#comment-648 Boy oh boy can I empathize with you guys (and I'm sure we aren't even close to being alone). As the husbands, we're supposed to be the spiritual leaders in the family, but oh the details. To what extent do we take it? I used to compare it to being a manager in business, but I realized it's not the same. We can't fire our wives because they don't fill out the "TPS reports" (Office Space reference:) the way we like it. Like you Matt, I'm a list, schedules kinda guy. But after trying to get my wife to adopt those practices, I realized that I can only make suggestions where God leads me and then leave it between Him and her if she uses them. I had to come to terms with deciding if certain things were a big enough issue to continue to "manage" my wife. Funny thing is...after I stopped harping on certain things, she started changing her mind about some things (and I also came around to some changes myself). I just need do my part by showing love and leave it at that. Boy oh boy can I empathize with you guys (and I’m sure we aren’t even close to being alone).

As the husbands, we’re supposed to be the spiritual leaders in the family, but oh the details. To what extent do we take it?

I used to compare it to being a manager in business, but I realized it’s not the same. We can’t fire our wives because they don’t fill out the “TPS reports” (Office Space reference:) the way we like it.

Like you Matt, I’m a list, schedules kinda guy. But after trying to get my wife to adopt those practices, I realized that I can only make suggestions where God leads me and then leave it between Him and her if she uses them. I had to come to terms with deciding if certain things were a big enough issue to continue to “manage” my wife. Funny thing is…after I stopped harping on certain things, she started changing her mind about some things (and I also came around to some changes myself). I just need do my part by showing love and leave it at that.

]]> By: Matt http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-633 Matt Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:34:58 +0000 http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/#comment-633 What you just said was so fitting for my relationship with Becky! I am a task oriented guy; list, schedules, etc.... We have had some disagreements with regards to how things are done. I can't stand water spots on clean pots and pans. I clean them off when I empty the dishwasher. Becky puts them away as is. The thing I struggle with is, Don't we both need to help each other with the things we do? If it bugs me that water spots are left on the pans or that the kitchen counter is dirty after she makes a quick snack, can't there be a give and take? When is is a bad habit? I guess I don't know how to phrase my thoughts on this. Thanks for the insight. It has made me realize that I need to just take care of things without "coming down" on my wife about how she did them or was raised. I guess it may be a constant struggle for me. What you just said was so fitting for my relationship with Becky! I am a task oriented guy; list, schedules, etc…. We have had some disagreements with regards to how things are done. I can’t stand water spots on clean pots and pans. I clean them off when I empty the dishwasher. Becky puts them away as is.

The thing I struggle with is, Don’t we both need to help each other with the things we do? If it bugs me that water spots are left on the pans or that the kitchen counter is dirty after she makes a quick snack, can’t there be a give and take? When is is a bad habit? I guess I don’t know how to phrase my thoughts on this.

Thanks for the insight. It has made me realize that I need to just take care of things without “coming down” on my wife about how she did them or was raised. I guess it may be a constant struggle for me.

]]> By: elbogz http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-631 elbogz Tue, 20 Feb 2007 14:34:01 +0000 http://www.brauchtalk.com/manhood-101-a-man-does-not-own-a-marriage/#comment-631 Our pastor taught my wife and I that we had to learn to make the "cake" together. It was the hardest thing for me to do as a man, was to allow someone else to tell me how to bake the “cake”. The cake in this case is a figure of speech that goes to all the things we do. We struggle with that. The best we can do at times is I’ll make the turkey, you make the gravy. As a man, I was taught to “Go be in charge” of you house. It is easy to mistake that as ‘tell your wife how to do the dishes’. I wish the biblical part of Man, love your wife as Christ loved the church, came with a few more details. Blessings… Our pastor taught my wife and I that we had to learn to make the “cake” together. It was the hardest thing for me to do as a man, was to allow someone else to tell me how to bake the “cake”. The cake in this case is a figure of speech that goes to all the things we do.

We struggle with that. The best we can do at times is I’ll make the turkey, you make the gravy. As a man, I was taught to “Go be in charge” of you house. It is easy to mistake that as ‘tell your wife how to do the dishes’. I wish the biblical part of Man, love your wife as Christ loved the church, came with a few more details.

Blessings…

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