My Computer Time and My Wife
Published by Matt in Relationships, TechnologyMy computer time is important to me for many reasons. I like to improve my skills on anything that is related to technology. I also like to mess with some web development and I like to read and learn all sorts of new and cool stuff. Becky doesn’t understand it sometimes and it can be a sticky point in our relationship. She knows that I need to do some stuff on the computer to keep up with new and changing things, but she also wants her time with me. I want to pose a few questions to the readers of this blog at the end to get some advice and insight on this topic.
I can spend hours and hours on the computer. It can range from messing with php to playing with image editing to reading about politics to basically everything else. I have to be in the mood for certain stuff though. I spent a lot of time messing with the computer at college. I could stay on the computer for 5 or 6 hours and it would feel like 20 minutes would go by to me. It is still like that today. I don’t spend that much time on the computer unless Becky is away doing something else and doesn’t care.
We would frequently have conversations like the following…(Anything in single quotes is me in “Mental la la land”)
Becky: How much longer will you be on the computer tonight?
Me: ‘…uh…hmm…cool…’ oh, you want me upstairs?
Becky: Yes, How much longer until you are done?
Me: I just want to finish this one last thing.
Becky: So 5 or 10 minutes?
Me:’…so close…man…hmmm….’ oh, sorry. What did you say?
Becky: SO, 5 OR 10 MORE MINUTES?
Me: Yeah, I think so.
The 5 or 10 minutes would zing by faster than road runner outrunning the coyotes trap. It would turn into 30 minutes, 1 hour, hour and a half. She would get mad at me and yell downstairs asking if I was done. It would hit me that I have gone way over the time I told her. I always feel bad! Always! I never did it on purpose or anything. I think I suffer from NADD which is Nerd Attention Deficiency Disorder.
It always bothers Becky when I spend too much time on the computer. She knows it is a necessary evil of my field of work and all but it still bothers her. I know one of her needs is quality time and love. I need to figure out how to balance it all out and make time for everything. How hard is that? I am spending even more time doing less of what I “really” want to be doing on the computer now that I am in Grad School for my Masters. I have to read a lot and do a whole bunch of papers. There has to be a happy medium where I can fulfill my need for computer time and where I can fulfill Becky’s need for time with me.
What do all of you do to deal with this type of issue? It can be an issue with your wife, girlfriend, fiancé, mother, dog, roommate,…etc. How do you manage time for yourself and then others? Please leave a comment below or send me a comment privately. Make it a great day!
6 Responses to “My Computer Time and My Wife”
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Trackback on Sep 27th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
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Managing time in busy marriages — Is there enough of you to go around?…
In his “My Computer Time and My Wife” post, Matt posed this question: How do you manage time for yourself and then others? Matt invited folks to share how they handle such situations, so here are some of the things that work for my husband,…
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Hi!
I think one of the first steps towards improving the situation is to learn how to condition yourself. I’m mostly the same kind of a person - I can always find something to do on my computer, and unless I have a strict plan and condition myself to follow it, I can spend hours without getting anywhere and feeling that I’ve just started.
So if I agree with myself on what I plan to achieve on a certain day, I will eventually learn to condition myself for doing this.
Good luck!
I never thought of that Gleb. One thing I need to do is set a goal for the hour I am on the computer. When I finish the goal, I am done. What is tough for me though is I always have stuff to do and I keep saying telling myself, “One more quick thing…” I need to stop doing that. Thanks for the tip!
Last night was the perfect example of Matt needing to do “just one more thing”. I was heading to bed, and he said it would just be a few more minutes. I could handle that. I didn’t mind having to wait 20 minutes so we could still get our devotional done that we do each night, but he went longer than 20 minutes, and I fell asleep. I think he needs help prioritizing! Don’t tell your wife you’ll be done in 20 minutes if you won’t be.
I gotta get me a plan. I cant get away from this thing. I guess I should us this blogging time to give the computer a rest. But this is my free time away from the duldrums of work
I can’t help you with your dilemma Matt but did you know (and this is a fact) that men are starting to spend more time with their computers than their wifes. So your not alone