It’s great being a newlywed. Even though M and I have been married just a little over a year, I still enjoy spending every spare minute with him, and I feel kind of lost when he is gone. Last night was a good example of this. M left right when he got off work to drive 2 hours to his school where he is starting his Master’s program. It was his first night at school, and he gave me a hug and kiss goodbye and he walked out the door.

Don’t get me wrong, because I am really excited about him working on his Master’s degree. He is one of the most hard-working and driven people that I know. But as soon as he walked out the door, a realization came over me that things are going to be a lot different for the next year. M is going to be spending a lot of time doing homework and discussions on the computer, and I’m going to have to keep from interrupting him. We aren’t going to be able to just take off for a few days since he will be so tied to his school work. And even though he will only be gone two nights every six weeks, I suddenly felt lonely.

I have become so accustomed to M always being home in the evenings that it seemed strange when he wasn’t there. It just made me realize how quickly I had adapted to married life. But at least I have our little puggat, Roogy, around. He kept me company. And I figured there were a lot of things I could do while he was gone, like getting things lined up for my last year of school. I printed off some papers for my Biochemistry class, and then tried to figure out my student loans and I got stumped. I couldn’t do it without M. So I hit a dead end.

I tried other things to make myself occupied. I drove out to my parents, only to realize when I got there that I was driving M’s little runner car which has an “I Love My Wife” sticker on the back. That must have looked funny to the people driving behind me, especially because there is also a sticker that says “Marriage: One Man, One Woman”. I also made the mistake by taking Roogy to my parents. My brothers were playing their instruments in the garage, and Roogy was freaked out every second we were there. So that was my second flop of the night.

I got home and decided to unwind with a bath. You can’t go wrong with that, right? I got the water going, put Roogy in his kennel, and hopped in. A few seconds later, Roogy starts barking to no end. And M can attest to this: he is the disciplinarian, not me! So being I couldn’t get him to stop, I let him out. I tried to continue with my bath, but having the dog in the same room as me just wasn’t doing it for me. So yet another failed attempt to have an enjoyable night alone.

I hopped on the couch and flipped on the TV, only to see a kidnapped woman being held captive on CSI. That is not what I needed to see! I turned it off, but that was enough to be a little nervous the rest of the night about someone coming in the house. I gave up and went to bed, and I took Roogy with me. I just kept thinking about how long it had been since I had slept in a bed all by myself. I used to do it all the time before M and I were married, and it didn’t feel weird then. And now, a short year later, it felt eerie. And for some reason I started thinking about how lonely life would be without M in it. I realized how much I have come to depend on him as my husband and my friend, and a warm body in bed next to me. I knew M had a long and late drive home, and I said a prayer for him that he would make it home safely, and I drifted off to sleep. The next thing I know, M is flipping the light on in the bedroom and comes over and gives me a hug. It was 11:45pm. It felt so good to see him home.

I feel almost silly for even admitting how lost and bored I feel when he’s not around. Maybe some may even say it’s not healthy to be that way. Yet, it’s the way I feel. Maybe it is part of being a newlywed, and maybe it will change with time. But I’m actually happy I feel that way, otherwise I would almost feel like something was wrong with our relationship if I didn’t miss him when he was gone, even just for an evening.

I take my time spent with M very seriously. M is leaving for a whole weekend soon to go to Promise Keepers, and I got asked to work the two days before he leaves. Because of my hours, this means I would barely see M for five days. I ended up picking up one of the days, just because I didn’t want to go that long without spending good time with him. And the good thing about it is that M understands it is important to me as well.

I work at an assisted-living facility, and I get told over and over again by the residents there to enjoy time together while we can and while we’re young. Most of the people living there have been without their spouses for years now, and they really see the importance of having time for each other. I just want to make sure I take their advice and keep my relationship with my husband a priority over work, and any other things that are not as important.

I’m excited to see where life takes M and I together. It’s funny how a little time apart can put things in perspective and make you realize how much your life changes when you get married to revolve around the other person. But I wouldn’t go back to life before him even if I could. And I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be.