In the quest of finding a life partner, many men and women resort to dating as their source of finding love. However, not everyone’s idea of dating is the same. Singles can be divided into five general dating categories; avoidant, intermittent, casual, serious daters, and dating addicts. Depending on an individuals approach to dating determines the category of dating technique. As you read through this, try and identify what dating style is your own, and what the positives and negatives are.
Avoidant daters are singles who don’t date at all, even if the opportunity comes along. One reason a man or woman chooses not to date is time. For example, some people feel that between work, school, family, church, and friends, they just don’t have any time for the dating game. Another reason one might date is because it isn’t appealing to them. Some people just flat out aren’t interested in dating at the certain points in their lives. There are also those who aren’t allowed to date. Some parents have ruled that their children can’t date until they reach a certain age. Besides all of these reasons one might not date, there is always the fact that some people simply don’t get the opportunity, even if they are interested. Dating takes two individuals, and for some, the other half just hasn’t come into the picture quite yet.
Intermittent daters are men and women who don’t purposefully seek relationships, but if the opportunity comes they will take it. Such daters have other priorities in their life that they don’t mind keeping first over dating relationships. I saw a woman whose story was on the news recently about this very thing. She was a confident individual who felt she can live her life with or without a partner and be happy with herself, however never denying the fact that she would like a partner. Intermittent daters believe that in the right timing, fate will take its, so there is no need in vigorously seeking relationships.
Casual daters are individuals who find dating as something fun to do, some even look at it as being a hobby. For example, some men and women date many different people, and do so often. These type aren’t necessarily looking for a serious relationship with anyone at this point; but just want to experience the fun and excitement comes with the dating process. Long term commitment is never on the casual daters mind.
Serious daters are those who are dating with one soul purpose; to find their life partner. These daters have come to the point in their life where they are done fooling around being avoidant, intermittent, and casual daters, and they are prepared for the next big step in life. When I entered my relationship with M, I knew I was entering a serious relationship. I believe that M had the same intentions as well. And dating seriously doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t fun. As the relationship grows longer and deeper, marriage is often brought up in the conversations. Such a partnership has the potential of marriage, and that is exactly what the serious dater is looking for. I am happy to find it worked for M and I!
Besides these positive methods of dating, there is one form that can be very harmful to a dater. Dating addicts are those who have become so dependent on having another person in their life that they must constantly be in a relationship to feel like a whole person. These daters often have low self-esteem and try to fill that void by sharing a bond with someone else. I have known a girl for several years who this describes perfectly. Having started dating at a young age, she doesn’t know how to function as an self-confident individual. Moving quickly and painfully from one hurtful relationship to the next has become the common trend in her dating experience, as with most dating addicts. Dating addicts often get caught in this vicious cycle that leaves no heart unharmed.
Avoidant, intermittent, casual, and serious dating are for different individuals at different stages of life which can be considered, for the most part, healthy ways of approaching dating. Dating addiction, on the other hand, can be harmful if not recognized and measures are taken to break the pattern. Dating will likely continue being a prominent way of mate selection for most singles. Some helpful advice; choose wisely, and know your purpose in dating. Try to remove yourself from your current situation and see it from someone else’s eyes. You may find that your current relationship, or lack of, is a positive or negative thing. And just remember to do what is right for you.
Please post a comment and tell us the technique you currently are using or what you have used in the past.