Some people think that they don’t need to be happy 100% of the time to have a good relationship. Some say, “As long as I am happy a little bit.” Some people think that marriage makes things better. “It will be way better once we get married!” I am here to tell you that it doesn’t work that way.
I know some of you will say that “it worked just fine for us”! It is true; some people make it work and go on to be happily married for the rest of their lives. I have heard where people make it in some of these above relationships. I have heard the total opposite for a large number of married couples and there are stats to prove it. They think that jumping into marriage will make life better and make their relationship better. It tends to make it worse.
The dating stage in life is a “puppy-love” stage. We have all been there and if you haven’t you will someday. You are on cloud 9 and flying high on “love” and “happiness.” I was there. Your significant other could do no wrong. You could do no wrong in their eyes. Life is good. Time flies by so fast. You may progress through your relationship and think that all is good and nothing could go wrong.
B and I had an awesome relationship throughout our dating, engaged, and now married years. We did go through that stage of puppy-love and all seemed perfect. Of course we had a few minor bumps in the road. No relationship is perfect! The key thing is to learn from issues and conflicts and grow your relationship into a strong and unbreakable bond. Talk about your wishes and wants that you each want in the relationship. Don’t go on in your relationship with someone if your ideals or morals don’t match. Don’t “think” that your significant other wants the same things you do in life. You need to discuss these things in great detail to find out if you match up and that the relationship will grow in the same direction. Some people make it work.
I have always wanted to have kids. I would love to have two boys! B and I never really talked about kids much during the early years of our relationship. I assumed and so did she that we were on the same page when it came to kids. She didn’t want to have any or bring kids into such an unruly and hard world. I agree that it would be tough, but look at our parents. They made it through. Granted, the world is a lot more messed up today than it was in the 1980’s. Of course they said that the world is messed up then to. B said that she either wanted a lot or none about 6 months before we got married. She grew up in a family of ten with 4 brothers and 4 sisters. I grew up in a family of 4 with a sister. I wanted a “couple” of kids and B wanted a lot or none. It was a little hard for me to deal with because inside, I wanted kids but not a lot. I would settle for something in the middle just to have kids. I want to be a Dad. I want to be the Dad for my kids like my Dad when I was growing up. I stuck with our relationship because I loved her and wanted marry her. I am three years older than her and I thought that maybe she would grow into it and would want to have kids someday. I never pushed it and now look what she says.
A good relationship matters because it is the lifeblood of your commitment to each other. I love coming home after a days work and see my wife. I absolutely love it. If it was a rough day, she lights up my attitude and changes my outlook on the day. I wouldn’t enjoy the company of my wife if our relationship was bad or had problems. I would come home expecting home to be like work. Happiness is important when you build your relationship. Work at making each other happy and enjoyable to be around. Figure out what each other’s body languages is or “Love Language” is. We read “The Five Love Languages” as a part of our marriage counseling and it has help me out a lot personally.
A good relationship is really important. You need to figure out what your future husband/wife wants and needs in your relationship. Continue to evaluate your relationship and tweak it and make it alive with fun and excitement. Your relationship needs to be the best it can be to make it in this world today. Relationships are constantly bombarded with TV shows that tell us that we can get a divorce and move on and all is ok. Divorce is not the answer. Love each other and learn from mistakes. A good relationship is a breathing and living thing. Nurture it with love and care and it will grow and become stronger.