Understanding a Woman’s Emotions
9 Comments Published by B in Advice, Happiness, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Stories
Our American culture likes to poke fun of the fact that some women let their emotions carry them away, some more often than others. It seems like men are always making jokes to each other about how moody women can get and how they will never be able to fully understand the mind of a woman. I am certain that after this last weekend, M can join the crowd. So all those guys trying to understand their special lady’s emotional state and what makes it tick, keep reading. Being a woman myself, I would like to write from my perspective on this issue of the labeled uncontrollable emotional state of my gender.
Let’s face it, women are wired completely different than men! Our brains work differently. We think and do things differently. Our physical make up is different. But these are all good things! We were made to be compliments to one another. Generally speaking, women tend to be more emotional than men. This is nothing new to us. However, when a woman starts getting “moody,” they easily get labeled a five-letter word and men give it no further thought.
This is not a men-bashing article. If anything, I want to help men and women better understand their wife’s (or own) emotions. I want to use some personal experience from M and I’s relationship. First of all, M and I rarely fight. But when we do, it seems that I am almost always the cause of it. M would never accuse me of this, but I know it’s true. How? Because every time we fight, its because I am an emotional wreck.
For example, this weekend I got home from school, M got home from work, and we were fixing supper together. Sounds fun, right? It was, until we started sarcastically teasing each other, which we do often and usually it doesn’t bother me. It was all out of fun. But for some reason, words that were exchanged suddenly struck a nerve with me, and I instantly started boiling inside. It only progressed from there. M thought we were still joking around, and each thing he did hurt me even more. The ultimate offense was when he gave our dog something to play with that I had thrown away. When I found it on the floor, I picked it up, apparently yelled “you stupid idiot” (we don’t swear) while throwing the object at him and ran out into the garage, crying.
So what was I feeling at this point? First of all, I was cold. Our garage isn’t heated. Second, I couldn’t understand why on earth I went from having fun to instantly freaking out. I sat in the garage a long time, not to punish M and wonder when he’d come get me, but to punish myself. I felt so stupid. I had never gotten that crazy on M before. And what was even more bothersome was that there was no reason for it. To this day, I still can’t understand what happened to make me so upset. So finally after “calming” down, I swallowed my pride and went back into the house.
M was probably feeling pretty lost at this point. But to be honest, so was I. Was it a combination of stress, hormones, and built up emotion that caused the explosion? I really don’t know. And the sad thing was, my emotional state lasted all weekend. Friday was the explosion, Saturday I was weepy and doubting M wanting to be with me, and Sunday I was down and slept nearly half the day. There was no reason for me to doubt M’s love for me, or to be depressed. But I was.
I definitely don’t mean this to be depressing. I just want to tell men that it really is true; understanding a woman’s emotions is nearly impossible, even for women! I can’t even understand it myself. When M asked me what was wrong, I seriously couldn’t give him a reason. But as with everything else, it will pass. So just stick it out and remember that the woman you married is still under those death-stare or tear-filled eyes. And lots of hugs and reassurance that you still love us helps too.
Hi B!
I just want to say that I’ve been there on several occasions. A blow up like that always leaves me feeling depressed for at least 2 days. Exhaustion, doubt, guilt…it passes though and our husband’s still love us and know that we are just “wacky” women!
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who gets this way. I wish there were some way I could warn my husband when I’m about ready to have an episode, but it’s pretty unpredictable when it’s going to happen. But like you said, it passes with time and life goes on. Thank God!
Thanks for commenting.
That was a great read, to be honest with you at lest you understand it was your fault(not to point fingers or anything) and its great your admitting it instead of just lying about it or finding some b.s excuse like my last girlfriend
and if u tell a man that nothing els will matter to him.
Very insightful comments and your extreme honesty is valuable. I’ve studied my negative emotions with others professionally (i.e. in therapy) and personally. I’ve learned that just because it is an bad emotion, it isn’t necessarily valid and has to be studied. It sometimes is what it is. And I took a workshop with an ex that focused us both on self-soothing when negative emotions seem overwhelming, so we could get back to loving. It was extremely helpful, unfortunately, it didn’t save that relationship, but I learned how to feel better by myself without making my partner feel like a failure, when he can’t say or do that one right thing to ease my pain. Music and movies are great self-soothing tools for me. Or sometimes I just let it rip and cry, cry, cry…and get on with my life because I choose to be happy.
You are part of the problem.
If you are a hyper emotional woman, that’s great.
But do not feed the stereotype.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/203458?from=rss
One of the first steps in healing pain either emotional or physical is to acknowledge that pain has two roots. What I mean by that is that all pain has both emotional aspects and if it isn’t yet it will eventually become physical. Take a look at the EFT Training DVDs here. EFT training is one of the tools that we offer through our retreats to heal physical pain such as headaches, back pain, and physical pain of all kinds. EFT has been effective for both physical and emotional pain. Love’s Secret is an EFT manual for healing emotional and physical pain. If you want to know how EFT training can enrich healing in your life, see Free EFT Training to know more of EFT in action!
This situation is very truth. Is very difficult for men to understand women all the time, and we will never find a way to do it. There are a lot combination of emotions that bader a woman. Just from nothing start a situation that can finish very ugly if we men do nothing. Men have the options of go away and wait for evething to calm down, and be patient and lovely with the woman. I personally still confuse with my second wife about her emotions, that most of the time I tell her, “you are bipolar”. From nothing and for nothing we start fighting. I tried three times to save my first marriage, and did not worked. Women have to find a way to control their self bacause men will never be patient forever. For these reasons we see a lot of domestic violence, cheating, and unrespect in a relationship. No fight is for something important, all fights are for stuped things. The love is the greatest thing on life. I used to tell my wife that I want to be her boyfriend instead of husband. Beacause that is the moment when people fall in love very deep, and is wonderful the feeling that we get. Just think about it.
Dear B, i gave up trying to understand my gf emotions after reading your articles..i think women now are a a very complex carbon-based beings
If your emotional state lasted a week, my gf lasted 3 years.
My gf and me started dating 3 years ago and running our business together. It went out very smoothly and has promising futures in our business. But along our relationship in 3 years she sometimes just getting angry for small or no apparent reasons. She said several times she would end the relationship and business. Maybe she got bored? Maybe she just like to do that? everytime she asked she just yelled and getting angry. But later on she just being nice again. But our relationship gone sour and she said it would be best to be workpals and not be lovers just recently. And i just couldn’t understand why. Everytime i asked what was wrong with us she just yelled and threatened to leave our company. Maybe i just be silent and be patient like i did? I don’t know. She just locked every opportunity to communicate what is wrong with us. It’s just a shame now that we have something wonderful to do together in our lives.
i suspected that even women themselves have’nt been able to crack that code. But it is definately challenging to keep a relationship if that sort of thing happens regularly, straight or lesbian. good advice on weathering the storm though.