This how-to is for all the men out there. Some women might enjoy it also. Healthy relationships in marriages are extremely important. Men and women are wired differently and they have different needs. B and I had to read a book in our marriage counseling sessions and it was called His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr. This book opened up my eyes to what my wife needed out of our relationship. I would like to make my own list of needs that women have after I have been married for a year and 2 months.
Women need to be loved through thick and thin.
Men, love your wife no matter how bad you screw up or your wife screws up. We all make mistakes! That is the way God made us! Love is the cement that holds your relationship together. I have noticed that B really needs to be loved when she is going through tough times. She may have had a bad day at school or work and just needs that big hug with an “I love you” attached. Don’t get mad at your wife when she is all down and out about her day. I used to get upset because her attitude would bring mine down. I have learned that men need to go down to that emotional level with their wives and help bring them back up. Don’t leave your wife in that lonely, cold spot of feeling down and out. It will speak volumes to her when she realizes you care about how she feels and the two of you will grow stronger in each other.
Women need to be surprised and pampered.
Men, nothing says “I love you” like a thoughtful surprise. Find something that she would never expect and do it. Take her on a car ride through some scenic area to see the fall leaves and have a picnic somewhere together. Women don’t always need flowers and a diamond to be surprised. Don’t get me wrong though, women do love diamonds and flowers. I am lucky with B. She would rather go out to eat and have fun then have me spend money on something as temporary as flowers. I know for a fact though that a surprise of flowers for no reason is a good thing also. Catch your wife off guard and do something spontaneous and exciting. Get her a massage somewhere. Stretch your wife’s comfort zone and she will enjoy it. I took B to a weekend of fun for a one-year anniversary. She talked about it here. I picked everything out for the weekend and she knew nothing about it. She knew that we were going away for the weekend and that I had planned everything. I planned a Segway tour and a stay in a really nice hotel. She was really freaked out when we showed up to the Segway tour. She will be the first to admit that it was a great weekend! Surprise your wife! Rub her feet with some cool lotion or draw her a bath after a long day at work. She will love you for it and it will strengthen your relationships with each other.
Your wife needs to feel secure.
Women need to feel secure in their marriage. This ranges from finances, to a roof over her head, to protection, and etc…. Love also creates a secure feeling. I am a bit bigger than the average guy and I am a lot bigger than my wife. She loves the fact that I am a big teddy bear. It comforts her when I give her a big hug. I am not saying that you have to go out and get hugely overweight or workout a ton to get bigger. That is just one way my wife feels secure. Some women like to run the finances and maybe that is a good thing for some men. There are all sorts of ways to make your wife feel secure in your marriage and strengthen your marriage and relationship.
You wife may just want to have fun.
Men, don’t be dull and boring in your relationship. Do fun stuff together that will draw you closer together. I love it when B has fun and laughs. It makes me feel good when we can laugh together and enjoy each others company. I know she enjoys it as well. Having fun in a relationship is key to making it last. Don’t let the “fun well” go dry. It is harder to fill it when it is empty. Continue to fill it at all times and your relationship will always be fun and the fun will never run dry.
Help your wife with the household chores.
This one may hurt, men. Surprise your wife by cleaning the floors while she is away. Clean the bathroom on your own without her asking you. I am of the mindset that men should help with these household chores anyways. I do struggle with it at times though. Doing these things blesses your wife in so many ways. I know I mentioned drawing a bath for your wife before, but draw a bath and then clean the floors or do the dishes or do anything that would bless her and make her feel loved and appreciated. Have her put her feet up and you vacuum or play with the kids (if you have them). There a so many things that you could do for her. Little things go a long way!
I could go on and on about things to do to keep your relationship healthy and on fire for each other. Keep a list of these ideas and try and incorporate them into your home life. You will notice that your wife will want to return the favor sometimes. Bless your wife and she will want to bless you. Healthy marriages are import in today’s world. It is important for your kids and for yourselves. The divorce rate is so high these days. Lets turn that statistic around, men!
Fell free to leave as many comments as you want or send us a message. I want to hear other ideas from other men and women out their. I would like to make this a resource for happy, healthy marriages. A healthy marriage is a life long journey.
I have chosen to participate in ProBlogger’s Group Writing Project again with this post. Swing on by and check it out.
UPDATE: My wife wrote an entry on Five things a Woman Needs to Hear to Fall in Love. It is a good read!