How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife
Published by Matt in Relationships, How To, Marriage, Fun, Happiness, Love, AdviceThis how-to is for all the men out there. Some women might enjoy it also. Healthy relationships in marriages are extremely important. Men and women are wired differently and they have different needs. Becky and I had to read a book in our marriage counseling sessions and it was called His Needs, Her Needs
Women need to be loved through thick and thin.
Men, love your wife no matter how bad you screw up or your wife screws up. We all make mistakes! That is the way God made us! Love is the cement that holds your relationship together. I have noticed that Becky really needs to be loved when she is going through tough times. She may have had a bad day at school or work and just needs that big hug with an “I love you” attached. Don’t get mad at your wife when she is all down and out about her day. I used to get upset because her attitude would bring mine down. I have learned that men need to go down to that emotional level with their wives and help bring them back up. Don’t leave your wife in that lonely, cold spot of feeling down and out. It will speak volumes to her when she realizes you care about how she feels and the two of you will grow stronger in each other.
Women need to be surprised and pampered.
Men, nothing says “I love you” like a thoughtful surprise. Find something that she would never expect and do it. Take her on a car ride through some scenic area to see the fall leaves and have a picnic somewhere together. Women don’t always need flowers and a diamond to be surprised. Don’t get me wrong though, women do love diamonds and flowers. I am lucky with Becky. She would rather go out to eat and have fun then have me spend money on something as temporary as flowers. I know for a fact though that a surprise of flowers for no reason is a good thing also. Catch your wife off guard and do something spontaneous and exciting. Get her a massage somewhere. Stretch your wife’s comfort zone and she will enjoy it. I took Becky to a weekend of fun for a one-year anniversary. She talked about it here. I picked everything out for the weekend and she knew nothing about it. She knew that we were going away for the weekend and that I had planned everything. I planned a Segway tour and a stay in a really nice hotel. She was really freaked out when we showed up to the Segway tour. She will be the first to admit that it was a great weekend! Surprise your wife! Rub her feet with some cool lotion or draw her a bath after a long day at work. She will love you for it and it will strengthen your relationships with each other.
Your wife needs to feel secure.
Women need to feel secure in their marriage. This ranges from finances, to a roof over her head, to protection, and etc…. Love also creates a secure feeling. I am a bit bigger than the average guy and I am a lot bigger than my wife. She loves the fact that I am a big teddy bear. It comforts her when I give her a big hug. I am not saying that you have to go out and get hugely overweight or workout a ton to get bigger. That is just one way my wife feels secure. Some women like to run the finances and maybe that is a good thing for some men. There are all sorts of ways to make your wife feel secure in your marriage and strengthen your marriage and relationship.
You wife may just want to have fun.
Men, don’t be dull and boring in your relationship. Do fun stuff together that will draw you closer together. I love it when Becky has fun and laughs. It makes me feel good when we can laugh together and enjoy each others company. I know she enjoys it as well. Having fun in a relationship is key to making it last. Don’t let the “fun well” go dry. It is harder to fill it when it is empty. Continue to fill it at all times and your relationship will always be fun and the fun will never run dry.
Help your wife with the household chores.
This one may hurt, men. Surprise your wife by cleaning the floors while she is away. Clean the bathroom on your own without her asking you. I am of the mindset that men should help with these household chores anyways. I do struggle with it at times though. Doing these things blesses your wife in so many ways. I know I mentioned drawing a bath for your wife before, but draw a bath and then clean the floors or do the dishes or do anything that would bless her and make her feel loved and appreciated. Have her put her feet up and you vacuum or play with the kids (if you have them). There a so many things that you could do for her. Little things go a long way!
I could go on and on about things to do to keep your relationship healthy and on fire for each other. Keep a list of these ideas and try and incorporate them into your home life. You will notice that your wife will want to return the favor sometimes. Bless your wife and she will want to bless you. Healthy marriages are import in today’s world. It is important for your kids and for yourselves. The divorce rate is so high these days. Lets turn that statistic around, men!
Fell free to leave as many comments as you want or send us a message. I want to hear other ideas from other men and women out their. I would like to make this a resource for happy, healthy marriages. A healthy marriage is a life long journey.
I have chosen to participate in ProBlogger’s Group Writing Project again with this post. Swing on by and check it out.
UPDATE: My wife wrote an entry on Five things a Woman Needs to Hear to Fall in Love. It is a good read!
88 Responses to “How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife”
-
1
Pingback on Sep 19th, 2006 at 3:43 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
2
Pingback on Sep 21st, 2006 at 10:42 pm
/*
[…] Contact Us « How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife […]
*/ -
3
Pingback on Sep 22nd, 2006 at 7:30 pm
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
4
Pingback on Sep 22nd, 2006 at 8:02 pm
/*
[…] How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife - Excellent post about how to treat your woman right. It’s good to see men step up to the touchy feely stuff. Matt and Becky, a husband/wife team, talk about marriage, technology, and faith on this site. Such a neat concept. […]
*/ -
5
Trackback on Sep 22nd, 2006 at 9:26 pm
/*
Saturday Link Love - 23/09/2006…
Starting today, I will be sharing with you some of the best links of the week I have come across. I'm subscribed to quite a number of blogs, and this makes sure there is at least a few really interesting articles you will find useful.
*/
Here a… -
6
Pingback on Sep 23rd, 2006 at 1:00 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
7
Pingback on Sep 23rd, 2006 at 6:02 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
8
Pingback on Sep 23rd, 2006 at 7:25 am
/*
[…] 3. Matt explains How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife: Women need to be loved through thick and thin.Women need to be surprised and pampered.Your wife needs to feel secure.You wife may just want to have fun.Help your wife with the household chores. If you liked this article, please subscribe to my RSS feed. You can also bookmark and share this article:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]
*/ -
9
Pingback on Sep 23rd, 2006 at 7:52 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
10
Pingback on Sep 23rd, 2006 at 8:58 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
11
Pingback on Sep 23rd, 2006 at 1:42 pm
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
12
Pingback on Sep 24th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
13
Pingback on Sep 24th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
/*
[…] I really liked reading How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife by Matt from BrauchTalk. I also like this related post by his wife Becky: Five Things a Woman Needs to Hear to Fall in Love. Shonnie also has good thoughts on Ways to Reinvigorate Your Love In A Long-Term Relationship. […]
*/ -
14
Pingback on Sep 25th, 2006 at 7:44 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
15
Pingback on Sep 26th, 2006 at 11:01 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
16
Pingback on Sep 26th, 2006 at 11:12 am
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/ -
17
Pingback on Sep 30th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
/*
[…] How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With your Wife by Matt […]
*/
Nice list.
One thing I learned from my marriage…he’s going to try to fix something if i mention a problem…when I just want to talk about it..so now I preface a comment, not looking for a fix here, just need to vent! Saved us a few misunderstandings!
Jersey Girl,
I gotcha! I never did think of that. Men tend to want to fix stuff right away. I know that is the case for me. We need to be better listeners and allow for two-way communication. Venting is good and it can relieve a lot of stress that if left unvented, may lead to relationship issues for a while.
Men tend to want to fix problems because we are natural conquerors. Women base everything on how good of a relationship they have. It is absolutely neccesary for men to listen to their wives. It is also important for wives to be very supportive of their husbands as he needs to know that he is leading his household. Of course, more important than anything else is to know that God is the #1 priority in both of your lives which will put God as #1 in your marriage and will absolutely make a world of difference.
Great point Scott! I am glad other readers are adding things to this how to. I could of went on and on and on about stuff. There are so many great ideas out there! Thanks for stopping by!
Awwww, LOL I’m sending this to my husband
. Our list is up as well if you’d like to check it out!!
MamaDuck,
thanks for stopping by.
I read your post already! It was good. I try and be a good husband to my wife. She read my post yesterday and said it brought a tear to her eye. We had a bit of an issue last night and she said she found a good post I need to read. It was this one.
There is nothing more sexy than a man at the kitchen sink doing the dishes.
Nice read Matt. If I wasn’t a guy, I would marry you too (not to worry, I don’t play for the other team). You are both very blessed to have each other.
Northern Girl and Billy!
That is hilarious! Thanks for stopping by.
Great how to list Matt. I hope a lot of people read this and take your advice… it could help a lot of people.
Northern Girl, my wife would much rather I stood in front of the stove to do the cooking and that she did the dishes! She’s better fed that way.
Of course, with the whole chores thing, I need to make the effort now that she is going back to school and both of us are too busy to keep things clean. She’s the busier one, so I need to take up the extra slack to keep us both from having a break down.
I personally find men most SEXY when they are sensitive to our needs. The more attune men are towards our feelings, the more appealing they will become - making women (or maybe just me) more drawn to them .
Matt,
You are right. I will follow your advice and pay more attention to her. You’ve got some great points.
I need to work on the household chores part. Except the litter boxes. She can keep that one.
Found you on the Problogger Group Writing Project. Glad I did.
Steve
My girlfriend would vouch for all of the above in a second!
Hey Matt - Good post and thanks for the note on my site. Marriage is an amazing experience!
OOPS!!! Sorry dude! You can delete the previous comment. Wrong one. By the way, I had already read your list before you commented on my post. Good title! And content. Thanks for visiting my “how-to” post! Thus says churchpundit!
Hi - thought that was great … can we have one ‘the other way round’ - how to be happily married to a man? I’m sure you must have some tips, since this post seemed pretty accurate!
Lucy
RT - I hope it does help people out in their relationships.
Blaine - Becky is the same way. She likes it when I cook. She is also going to school and has less time to do stuff around the house. She is also starting par time at church as the Children’s church director.
Renee - Great point! I have heard that or read it somewhere else. I hope other men are reading the comments.
Steve Olson - Thanks for stopping by. I am no pro, but glad I could help.
FriedBeef - Becky would also!
Lori - Marriage is awesome! A highly recommend endeavor!
churchpundit - No problem…Thanks for stopping by.
Lucy - Do you want me to do it or Becky? I am slightly confused as to what you are asking. It is early.
Thanks for the compliments!
I love this group writing project!
All your advice is rock solid! All these things are so easy to forget. One area where I’m lucky is chores. I usually create more problems than I solve, so my wife almost hopes I just stay out of the way.
Matt,
Lots of people reading this would either want to marry you if they are females…or if they are males they should recommend their female relatives to grab you as quickly as they could….but like what they say…all good men are taken…me included… LOL
I love this post and have practiced a lot of them especially with cooking…I love cooking.
I really enjoy participating in this Group Writing Project. For those who havent read my post…checkit out at http://www.articlesportfolio.com/blogcjcm/2006/09/20/how-to-accept-mistakes-and-dont-blame-others/
C U around gals and guys
Yup .. I think you hit it on the head and out the ballpark on this one, in keeping a releationship healthy with your wife .. JUST - DO - THE - CHORES ..!
A nice list, and I definately have to remember to keep some of them in mind. It’s easy to get caught up with everything else that we forget to do the little things that show we love one another.
Great advice. I like the way you think.
Thanks for visiting my Honduran blog and my “how to” entry. Come back again.
First of all—GOOD FOR YOU for being a motivated husband! Just that alone goes a long way. I don’t know how long you two have been married, but if you work this hard, or even close to this hard, you’ll never end up divorced. You’ll get everything back you put into your marriage in spades as the years go by.
About negative energy—if you keep yours up, hers will eventually rise up to the same level as yours. And vice versa. The person with the higher level of energy actually has to consciously choose to step down. Lower energy always entrains to higher. This tip has helped me a lot in my marriage.
Kudos x10 to you and your wife!
Wives need to be loved through thick and thin and so do husbands! Life deals out some very tough situations at times and getting through unscathed is dependent upon the level of trust and love that is built up over the years between husband and wife. Small indicators of love and concern multiply far beyond their actual value in the end.
For a couple only married for a year and a bit, you are heading in the right direction.
Thanks for your comment on my site, Matt.
I have recently (painfully) learned that the surest way to scare your lady away is to become boring. Personally, the older I get (not that old!), the more I am becoming a book worming, routine loving, happy-doing-not-much kind of dude, with a real block when it comes to suddenly coming up with something fun and out of the ordinary. That’s lost me two fine ladies, and nearly lost me my current partner. Until I did a quick u-turn and scrambled for all I was worth (and I’m still scrambling).
Get out of the rut dudes, or she’ll turn off - and might even leave. I’m not actually sure which situation is worse but they’re both unpleasant!
Great tips! I agree to all your points. My current relationship always goes sour everytime I lack or forget to do one of the things you mentioned.
Hi Matt,
I was actually grinning when I read “Little things go a long way”. That’s so true for women.
Little kisses and a mini massages from my husband work wonders for me all the time.
Thanks for dropping by my “How to” post.
See you around!
Moose - Hang in there! Some “love wells” run dry and never fill up but then there are some that begin to fill up to overflowing. Every pail of love you dump back in is another one she can have.
Yich - My wife loves that stuff. Just doing it because I want to makes it even better for her. If she has to ask me for liitle things, it is only half as good. Thanks for stoping by!
It would probably be wise for every guy to print this out and fold it up in his wallet. Nice work.
Thanks Jason! I need to remember some of them when we are in a tissy over something also!
Matt, great article. You’ve provided some very nice tips and are things that sometimes can be overlooked. Thanks for stopping by my how-to article in the writing project.
I am glad that I came across your site, looking forward to reading more!
Reminds me of a quote:
“No wife has ever murdered her husband whilst he’s doing the dishes”
Thanks for stopping by MiscMum
Matt,
As a fellow believer and someone in the wedding industry, I love that you made this your post. I try to do most of these with my wife. Her “love language” is expressions of love and quality time. So I try to lean towards those.
Thanks for the thoughtful list.
thoughts….marriage…..hurts….brain….
Hi Matt! This is a great “How To”! You sound like a terrific guy…(do you have any single friends like you…?)
Well done post Matt! Personally I think your suggestions are applicable to both partners. I think the strongest relationships are ones in which there is equality in loving behaviors — be loving to your spouse and most of the time love is what you’ll receive in return.
I have a similar post–Ways to Reinvigorate Your Love In A Long-Term Relationship–that I invite you to come read. Thanks too for your comments on my other post–Everyday Gifts – How You Can Show Your Love Without Spending a Dime.
Keep up the great relationship! Sounds like you and Becky are a great match! Peace.
One thing to keep in mind is that all of have specific needs and to find out from your spouse what those are, so that you can give them exactly what they need.
After reading this, I will have to go check out the rest of your blog. Really nice post!
Very good article. I am printing this one out. This Problogger writing project is certainly producing very innovative and interesting articles - i’ll be reading for a while!
On a lighter note: I think a “How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Husband” (written from a man’s point of view) could potentially be one with hilarious proportions!
Hey Matt
Great post - I think I have taken a few learnings and a few reminders from this…
I think between our two posts there could be some happy couples out there!
Have a great day bud
Ross
Matt,
Your readers might be interested the following NYT article from June:
What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage
Just for fun, I tried some of the author’s techniques with my husband, but much like the author, I couldn’t resist telling him about it later.
Hehe. This works very well for non-marital relationships, too.
Matt,
Great post, it sounds like you are a good husband. A trick that seems to work for my husband and I is not to take ourselves too seriously. We can still laugh at each other and with each other.
Lynn - Most of my friends are taken or are well on their way.
thanks for stopping by!
Shonnie - Right on! I couldn’t agree more!
Ross - I was thinking the same thing!
Lisa - I totally agree! We love to laugh and have fun. We keep things light hearted as often as we can. Thanks for stopping by!
G’day Matt,
Wonderful How-To. I realised that I need to spend more time focusing on my wife when she is having a bad, which tends to be happening quite a lot recently. If I can help her, perhaps that will help her get out of her rut. I also took other points here and there to heart as well. Thanks for the great post.
Noticed you ran into a bit of trouble posting a reply to my How To. Sorry about that, seems my Spam Filter was a little overactive. Were you looking suspicious at the time? I deleted the extra comments, and approved the one that actually linked back to this post within the text of the comment.
I think you’ll gain a few loyal [female] readers from this one!
Great tips though, they are all important. Luckily I do well with most of them. Thanks for dropping by my How To…
Matt, what a creative and unique “how-to”. Thanks for bringing my attention to it.
Scott - I have to do the same with Becky. I just want to stay away and let her figure out what is making her into a funk/rut. I have learned that I need to hold her and spend time with her while she is in need of an emotional uplift. You comment system kept clearing my field with no output as to what was wrong. It didn’t tell me that it was considered spam. Thanks for clearing it up.
Thanks Tim! We need more Men out there that will step up to the plate and be good husbands and know the needs of their wives. I feel that communication breakdown is a big cause of divorce. They say it money issues mostly but I tend to disagree. I think money can play a part in it id the money situation isn’t communicated between both parties. Thanks for stopping by.
Good advice. It’s easy for me to forget about the wife when there’s three young kids in the house. I think I should throw her a birthday party next year. My wife and our first two kids have the same birthday and the focus is always the kids.
A wonderful article. Every man should read this! My how-to article is up also. Please stop by when you have time.
http://www.blushpersonals.com/dating-articles/how-to-make-her-melt-with-your-kiss.html
This is a nice read. I’ll keep your tips in mind when I get married, if I ever do.
(in the meantime, I’m sending this to my bro)
Wow… This should be part of a checklist for all men to read before they make the vows.. haha..
Congrats on an article well written… and thanks for giving a comment on my “Get Motivated…Demonstrated!” post….
Love your post! This is definitely one of my favorite posts from the problogger project. My how to is up too, at
How to “buy” happiness , if you’d like to check it out
Great post, Matt. The part that hit me the hardest was “Don’t get mad at your wife when she is all down and out about her day. I used to get upset because her attitude would bring mine down.”
That’s something that I’ve been working on myself. And I’m learning that I can stay “up” no matter how down she gets, while still being sensitive to her feelings. It’s a challenge sometimes (most of the time), and I often screw up, but it’s getting better.
Thanks!
Most of thesuggestions are patronising and reinforcing stereotypical male/female responses and roles.
It isn’t ok to tell a woman she’beuatiful when she’s not. It isn’t ok to say everything will be alright when it won’t. There are too many to mention but the idea you are putting forward belongs to a past generation.
Chris,
I understand what you are saying to a point. If you are with a woman, either married or dating, you find them beautiful no matter what. Don’t tell a random woman that isn’t attractive, that she is beautiful. All of the things I posted above are within the realms of a relationship, both Married and in the serious stages. There is inner beauty and outer beauty also. I also am not saying that you need to lie and say things are just going great when they are not. Be truthful in everything you do or say to a woman. Don’t fake anything to your wife/Girlfriend/Significant other…etc.
The “Ideas” as you say, are alive and well today. My wife couldn’t agree more. I guess we can agree to disagree than. Thanks for stopping by!
Let God out of your relationship and you even do better.
Funny Dude,
Not funny.
God is an extremely important part in our relationship. So, I beg to differ. Thanks for stopping by though.
i alwaya argued with my husband about romance but he keeps on saying that he his like this and wont cahnge it!! i really dont want any thing more than ur beky says.. befor when we were engaged he offers me to take me in a car ride a this is a perfect idea for me which i feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel loved through it.. bit he dosent want ti belive that i have needs!! love needs.. how can i make him understand me without figthing? i dont feel loved nor apricated at all..i loooooooved ur writing.. and one more thing that tedy bear thing is a reaaaaaaaaal comforting thing.. my husband is tall and chubby and i feel loved but he just dosent hug me any more.. i dont know whats goingon?? do you think it is okay if i sent him ur post??would he understand it and work with it..i really love him and i know that he really loooooves me.. its that just he dosent know how to show me.. and i get really tensed and stressed when am not showed love and keep on fighting with him trying to get his atteintion but it alawys ends up with a big fight and not talkin to each other for days!!
Rasha,
It sounds like he just doesn’t understand. I never realized what love languages were until I read the book about them. There is another book called His needs her needs that is really good and a eye opener.
Your husband needs to know that you need this type of stuff in order to feel genuine love. There are countless stories out there about how couples got divorces over stuff like this because either spouse didn’t have a need meet by the other and got it from somebody at work who meet that need. The need might of been a listening ear, a gentle pat on the shoulder everyday(touch), etc…
It is hard for men to see this type of stuff. I can say this becuase I am a guy. Keep at it. Love him like crazy and show it by trying to find his love languages and meet them. Have a heart to heart talk with him about it. Tell him this stuff means the world to you. You sure can point him to this post. Just be sure to tell him you thought it was good and you thought he might enjoy it. Don’t slant it that he is doing all this stuff wrong…etc. He would get defensive.
I hope things get better for you.
i totally understand what ur talkin about.. its just that am married for five years now.. and for the last four years iv been askin him for this kind of love.. it seems that we lost our connection guyz.. donno what to do.. to make him understand me and to communicate with him without hurting him of have a huge fight with him leaving home and not talkin for days..
please if you have any ideas for me .. to how lighten up my relation with my husband let me know
thx alot..
Rasha,
He needs to understand. Does he read at all or is that a stretch? The only other recommendation I can give is to love him like crazy! Do stuff for him that meets his love needs.
One of my needs are affirmation. I love it when Becky tells me how hard I work or when she thanks me for providing so much for us…etc. Maybe Becky will chime in.
seems like a good idea.. ill will sure try it as soon as we talk 2 each other again..and ill let u know
thx alot..
bunch of pussies
@ I,
I beg to differ. It takes a real man to love his wife, be committed, and long for a healthy marriage. thanks for stopping by.
i think that this website will change many lives around the world!!!!or maybe not.but for the most part it would. i feel like if a woman cannot respect her man for who he is than he should say “fuck it” and roll. you should not have to change every aspect of your life just to be with someone becuase the fact of the matter is before you even think about getting into a relationship you should accept the person that your trying to be with and they should respect you…No one is perfect, and women are just going to have to respect that. Men are men and women are women it will always be that way and both sexes do things that the opposite cannot stand.but isnt that just a part of life you can never get along with someone all the time. Thats why there are ups and downs in relationships.RIGHT???????????