BrauchTalk

My computer time is important to me for many reasons. I like to improve my skills on anything that is related to technology. I also like to mess with some web development and I like to read and learn all sorts of new and cool stuff. B doesn’t understand it sometimes and it can be a sticky point in our relationship. She knows that I need to do some stuff on the computer to keep up with new and changing things, but she also wants her time with me. I want to pose a few questions to the readers of this blog at the end to get some advice and insight on this topic.

I can spend hours and hours on the computer. It can range from messing with php to playing with image editing to reading about politics to basically everything else. I have to be in the mood for certain stuff though. I spent a lot of time messing with the computer at college. I could stay on the computer for 5 or 6 hours and it would feel like 20 minutes would go by to me. It is still like that today. I don’t spend that much time on the computer unless B is away doing something else and doesn’t care.

We would frequently have conversations like the following…(Anything in single quotes is me in “Mental la la land”)

B: How much longer will you be on the computer tonight?
Me: ‘…uh…hmm…cool…’ oh, you want me upstairs?
B: Yes, How much longer until you are done?
Me: I just want to finish this one last thing.
B: So 5 or 10 minutes?
Me:’…so close…man…hmmm….’ oh, sorry. What did you say?
B: SO, 5 OR 10 MORE MINUTES?
Me: Yeah, I think so.

Continue reading ‘My Computer Time and My Wife’

We’ve all heard the saying before: “Men fall in love with their eyes, and women with their ears.” I know this was definitely true in our relationship. When M and I were dating, he was the sweet-talking king, but I knew he meant every word he said. And it worked! I fell totally in love with him, and now we’ve been married over a year. But now that we’re married, it doesn’t mean the nice words should come to an end. If all you guys out there are trying to make your woman fall head-over-heels for you again, read on!

The five phrases a woman needs to hear often:

I think you’re beautiful. It doesn’t matter how high a woman’s self-esteem is, these words are needed and desired by every woman in a committed relationship. Just because you said it when you were first dating, or on your wedding day, doesn’t give you a free pass to never say it again. I find that the longer I am married to M, the more I want to hear him tell me I’m beautiful. It builds confidence and lets me know that he still finds me to be attractive. A sure sign that you are not saying this phrase enough is if your girlfriend or wife continually asks, “Do you think I look fat?” or something to that effect. In many cases, I believe that women who ask the question are really asking, “Do you think I’m beautiful?” Our culture teaches us that looks mean a lot, and reassurance from our man that he likes the way we look means volumes to us. So trust me guys, this one will never get old to us. So say it! Continue reading ‘Five Things a Woman Needs to Hear to Fall in Love’

This how-to is for all the men out there. Some women might enjoy it also. Healthy relationships in marriages are extremely important. Men and women are wired differently and they have different needs. B and I had to read a book in our marriage counseling sessions and it was called His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr. This book opened up my eyes to what my wife needed out of our relationship. I would like to make my own list of needs that women have after I have been married for a year and 2 months.

Women need to be loved through thick and thin.
Men, love your wife no matter how bad you screw up or your wife screws up. We all make mistakes! That is the way God made us! Love is the cement that holds your relationship together. I have noticed that B really needs to be loved when she is going through tough times. She may have had a bad day at school or work and just needs that big hug with an “I love you” attached. Don’t get mad at your wife when she is all down and out about her day. I used to get upset because her attitude would bring mine down. I have learned that men need to go down to that emotional level with their wives and help bring them back up. Don’t leave your wife in that lonely, cold spot of feeling down and out. It will speak volumes to her when she realizes you care about how she feels and the two of you will grow stronger in each other.

Women need to be surprised and pampered.
Men, nothing says “I love you” like a thoughtful surprise. Find something that she would never expect and do it. Take her on a car ride through some scenic area to see the fall leaves and have a picnic somewhere together. Women don’t always need flowers and a diamond to be surprised. Don’t get me wrong though, women do love diamonds and flowers. I am lucky with B. She would rather go out to eat and have fun then have me spend money on something as temporary as flowers. I know for a fact though that a surprise of flowers for no reason is a good thing also. Catch your wife off guard and do something spontaneous and exciting. Get her a massage somewhere. Stretch your wife’s comfort zone and she will enjoy it. I took B to a weekend of fun for a one-year anniversary. She talked about it here. I picked everything out for the weekend and she knew nothing about it. She knew that we were going away for the weekend and that I had planned everything. I planned a Segway tour and a stay in a really nice hotel. She was really freaked out when we showed up to the Segway tour. She will be the first to admit that it was a great weekend! Surprise your wife! Rub her feet with some cool lotion or draw her a bath after a long day at work. She will love you for it and it will strengthen your relationships with each other. Continue reading ‘How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy With Your Wife’